*Boggle*

Just in case you were having problems showing up marks as distinctly as you build up a tolerance, why not try getting it inked on your ass forever?

Yeah. I saw a link to The Independent's Most Bizarre Tattoos on a body art forum I read, and as I found a PHIL tattoo (see link), felt compelled to immediately send it to Northern Spanking HQ

I don't even think that PHIL is my favourite out of those. It might be the Owl with Tits, actually.

Some highly naughty pictures from Sam Johnson's Birthday Party

Ah yes. Some of the incriminating pictures have finally appeared. The legendary Sam Johnson and her equally legendary Limo party.



We'd just been caned here, in case you couldn't tell by the lines. We note Sam's fabulous pirate plaster. I am honestly not so much confused and slightly blotto as finding neck movement slightly limited. Thanks, Mr Whiplash.



Now here.... Here I am pretty much hammered. As is Johnson. I'm reasonably sure there were Quite A Lot of pictures taken at this point in time. I imagine that the members of Sam's Diaries are probably seeing a few more, as are the lucky boys from the party, who may well now have this kind of thing as their screensaver on their phones...



Or, perhaps, something from the Girl Sex incident. *ahem* Just how happy is the lucky boy we are making out on? I'll tell you: Extremely. (Said Lucky Boy is also happy to appear in pictures. We did check. Hell, who wouldn't be? ;p)
I particularly like the red laser beam on my face. It adds a certain Bladerunner feel to it. If, in fact, Bladerunner were actually a hyper-porno. I also especially like how Leia-Ann is clutching her champagne glass for dear life, just in case anyone would try to steal it.

There you go. Now those of you glued to the Twitter updates from the party have accompanying visuals. ;) Well. Some.

A lovely person who comes to play with me sometimes, Mr M, commented in our fabulously fun session on Friday that I seem to only update immediately after he's come to see me.
Naturally, therefore, I felt compelled to leave it a couple of nights and see if it threw him. ;)

Yes, for those of you who asked, I made it round the 5K without death actually occurring. In fact, I did very nearly keel over in the last Kilometer due to various health issues, but carried on walking, and still finished in just under 30 mins, so presumably did the first 4K at a ridiculous pace. Nonetheless, I finished it with a sprint, and then spent 30 minutes trying to regain any feeling in my feet or ankles, which had gone completely numb. Handy!





So yes... Anyway. Last week I was lucky enough to shoot for the team at Strict Miss, and was actually quite delighted when my hapless victim turned up for one set wearing the most wonderful blue striped pyjamas.





It was like battering Andy Pandy. Wicked! (I never did like Andy Pandy. Can you tell? Suddenly a whole new idea has entered my bizarre little head for Looby Loo spanking Andy Pandy. I'm sure Northern Spanking would never even consider something like that though. It'd just be silly!...)





I obviously just gave him a gentle handspanking, for, as a woman, I am quite a wuss. I was actually being pretty nice in these - some of the films we made I was a bit less nice. Like in the short sharp shock kind of film of six of the best in which I was wearing the sort of outfit I couldn't even begin to think of wearing to actually go riding...


Seems to be pretty effective visually though!

In other World Domination Attempts, I've been on Spanking Server again recently, in a spanking from Peter over some cake. I think.



I love the pics they took of us. The lighting is just so different to everywhere else I've shot and gives both myself and Pandora eerie, uber-blue eyes.



After the experiences on the Spanking Machine, I was foolishly expecting a hand spanking might be a bit less intense, but as you can see, it was actually quite a hard one. Peter was giving it so hard in this clip that he ended up sweating buckets afterwards. I'm sure Ms Blake was delighted he was exhausted shortly before shooting her spanking clip! :D



It's a tricky business of concentrating, this modelling lark. ;)


I sometimes get asked if, as a model, I ever sit down to watch my films. The short answer is yes. I especially like to see ones from a little while ago that I've forgotten a little - I wrote recently about the hair flicking scene in Northern Spanking's Chemistry, but actually didn't watch the rest of the film.



It's... really quite something. It's not a punishment film, so those of you who want to see me sobbing and begging for mercy should go elsewhere, but it's one of the films in which I've done rather more erotic reactions, and is purposefully quite cheesy in places. I come out with lines that I didn't even know I knew. Genius.
It works though, and there's some gorgeous imagery.



Like that. Mmmm, ass. Oh, hang on, that's a bit narcissistic, isn't it?

In the same evening (Myself and my sister with vodka tonics and olives, if you must know. Laughing rather a lot) I watched a recent film, Maison Amelia. In a bid to obtain a stereotypical portrayal of an Essex hair salon, Lucy actually researched, and found that a frightening proportion of small town hairdressers in Essex have the prefix "Maison." I love it.

This film was also awesome in that long-suffering, most-hated-man-on-the-internet, George-Clooney-lookalike, Stephen Lewis, actually allowed a couple of spanking models to take pot-shot chunks out of his barnet. For real.



Brave or foolish. You decide...




After dealing with the ditzy do'-destroyer, Syra, (including using the spray to an inspired advantage!) Amelia offers to fix Mr Lewis' bonce with a fabulous directional cut. We're not sure which direction that would be...



Then of course the spankee of the year 2008 ( Officially ) gets her behind thoroughly tanned as well.


Right, that's your lot for now. We're getting so much sun here in London that I'm quite puddled, so sleep beckons.

xx

A pre-midnight update? Never!

Yes, it appears that I am managing a brief blog update before the witching hour, for the first time in, well, a long time. (Although from having looked at the times on the last few, I've managed it quite a lot. I suspect much of this is that the time it publishes is the time you start, not the time you finish...)

The reason for this is that I am going to try and get some sleep soon, as I'm (highly inadvisably, I should add) running a charity 5K tomorrow morning.
No, this doesn't mean the whiplash is better yet. It's actually worse, but I think that's how these things work as you treat them - as the muscles get persuaded back to their proper places, the pain gets much more intense.

Anyway. Great idea, Amy...

I've never actually run 5K - when we did Bums on the Run a few years ago, there were so many folk injured that it mostly ended up being just walking. My original training plan was to work up to doing it, but then the crash put paid to that a little, and lost me any progress I'd made. So this week has been the first week back at trying to run, and it's pretty hideous.

Ah well. I'm sure they have ambulances on site. It'll be fine. I'm sure.

After my last entry talking about the Strict Women shoot, the guys were good enough to send me a few pics from the shoot, so here they are.

Wielding a big stick of doom. Obviously I wouldn't dream of using it. Oh no...



I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the rotator cuff and biceps of a pro-wrestler... (apologies, Liz)



I'm pleased to see that my film I made for Clare Fonda on Girl Spanks Girl is up - starring myself, Sarah Gregory, Andi Switch and the legendary Ms Fonda, it features lots of OTK hand and hairbrush spanking, and plenty of sore bottoms.

Here's some stills:

Clare laying on some serious spanking on my poor behind! She was such a blast to work with - and looked awesome in this dress!



Sarah and I doing some corner time, after our second spanking, this time from Andi.



The hairbrush - I thought I was going to get away with it, as Andi had broken her hairbrush on Sarah's bottom only minutes previously. Clare immediately offered the services of her Mason Pearson. Gee, thanks!



Of course, Clare wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to spank another new girl whilst in Vegas, so Andi got a good walloping too.



The film is called "Mothers and Daughters 09" and is online at Girl Spanks Girl now.
This was the shoot in which the security guard interrupted us mid-film to tell us that the downstairs neighbours had complained we were "jumping up and down or something." We didn't actually get to see him to invite him in to play, as Clare quickly secreted us all in a bedroom, but he sounded very sorry to have to relay this information to us, and added that "Hey man, it's Vegas in the day... do what you have to do..." So we continued filming, and just tried to remember to kick the floor less. Which, of course, meant that it happened about twice as often as normal. Jeeeez...

Finally, I just wanted to share a couple of pics of one of my favourite new models on Northern Spanking - Lottie - who has her film debut this week.
She's lovely and leggy, and super pretty to boot - look at those doe eyes!


And I think this may be one of my favourite posterior-pictures for some time. I don't know why. There's just something so delightful about the rucking of the knickers and the way she's standing.



Yummy!

Right, bed time.

x

On Laughter being the best medicine...

(... apart from Tramadol, possibly... oh, and Calpol. Mmmm, Calpol. And Buttercup Syrup.)

Thank you all for your well wishes in comments, email and text form - very much appreciated. I am very much on the road to recovery and my caning shoulder/arm has not been affected adversely, you will all be doubtless delighted to hear. (I was also delighted to "hear" it. Swishing many times over the last few days... bwahaha...)

I just downloaded Chapter two of Northern Spanking's latest Celtic Corrections film, "Chemistry", and have probably now woken up the neighbours howling with laughter.

As you probably know, the Celtic Corrections series consists of longer length films, with quite significant plots. They're not nearly as epic as Wheatley Manor (more on that soon), but they're definitely longer than most other spanking/fetish films out there. I think I've posted pictures from some of the previous titles - Injustice, The Australian Governess and Student of Discipline.
In "Chemistry", I play a student who struggles with her lessons - or more aptly, her teacher - and receives a nasty spanking and tawsing for messing up a chemistry experiment. Her teacher informs her she will amount to nothing - at which we find her, 15 years later, leading the world in Chemical research.

I remember filming this quite vividly, but as it was a few years ago, I'd forgotten some of the details. Like the Timotei scene. Lucy already knew what she was going to do with it in post-production, but nothing prepared me for watching it. Especially watching Stephen's face throughout. Genius.



Oh, and there'll be plenty of spanking in Chapter two as well, in the next update.

But more erotic spanking, rather than the "punishment and weeping" spanking of Chapter one.


Something for everyone. Except maybe the Furries. Sorry, Furries. I thought I had an old picture there of me being spanked by Baloo the bear, but sadly with the new Hard Drive it's gone walkabout. I'm sure there'll be something appropriate soon...

This weekend I had another shoot with the naughty boys at Strict Women - another great day of being quite, quite wicked, and also a rather nice opportunity to tawse both Mike and Dave on their hands whilst they stood together. Such a chore, huh?! I'm sure I'll have pictures to show you at some point, but in the meantime, at the Fem Dom Spanking Blog there's a write-up of the shoot and some details of the previous films I've done with them, and this lovely fan-sign, complete with a cowering man at my feet, and my favourite cane in my hands - bliss! All I need now is a tray of sushi, some chocolate-dipped fruit, and a nice bottle of bubbly, and that's a pretty good night in! ;)



Oh bloody hell it's 2am again. Up the wooden hill!

Hmm

Apologies for not being around much just now; en route to the Northern Spanking Shoot, I had a rather nasty motorway crash involving a left-hand-drive lorry and the Amy Car of Doom.
The ACoD lost, bizarrely enough, after being slammed across two lanes of the M1 into the central reservation. Major woe followed for the rest of the day. Amusingly, my first text to Lucy, about 30 minutes after it happened, read "Had crash on M1. Polish Lorry driver hit me and I went into central res. Will let you know asap how I'm getting to you. May involve trains. x"

Oddly enough, my sister's primary concern was not that I was going to be late for the shoot...

After a rather fraught 7 hours, I was back in London. Details of how this was achieved should probably not be shared too widely. Shock is a grand little invention.
Another 5 hours passed, and I was out of hospital, with a confirmed unbroken neck, lots and lots of excellent drugs, and two Whiplash guidebooks. FNARR.

I still went to the shoot though, albeit a day late. I'm not missing out on 4 new bottoms to play with.

We had an awful lot of fun, and some fabulous food on our post-shoot evenings out. Six of us may now be banned from an entire county in the UK, for crimes against fashion and/or distressing farmers, but we got some extremely awesome new material, which I may share with you at a later date.

Right. Back to sifting through insurance things and doing hourly neck exercises.

The utter glamour of being a top spanking model. Sheesh... ;)

(I incidentally apologise to those of you who have added me on either MySpace or Facebook. I have to juggle things like this a bit, and they do fall to the wayside a little. You're not missing much, honest - you probably get a lot more information from here!)

Somewhat tardy post-Vegas post.

Ah yes. Sorry folks. Upon my return from Vegas it would appear that everything in the world is trying to pit itself against me, and it's taken this long to get things back on an even-enough keel to make a post. Lack of computer has been one of these reasons, and then when the supposedly repaired item was returned to my desperate clutches, Apple had managed to somehow mis-lay/delete several components of vaguely important programmes such as my browsers, and my modem. I think I've finally fixed it all now, but, my goodness, I won't be going back to that store...

Aaaaaanyway.

Here. Have a picture of pretty girls:



Yes, one of those pretty girls has a beard. We try not to talk about that.

There's a fabulous gallery up at Northern Spanking entitled "Adventures in Vegas", obscurely enough, where there's quite a lot of the goings-on captured. (Although it must be said that one of the batches I sent to Lucy was entitled "FYEO - not for public consumption", due to the sheer disaster-scale of the drunken last-night we managed...)

As most of you will know, I was already in the States prior to Shadowlane. The party was quite a last-minute decision in the grand scheme of things - I was shooting in Hawaii again at the end of February, and planned to do a little bit in LA before I left the country, to extend my time there and hopefully decrease the jet-lag. (ho ho!) Then I found out about Shadowlane: Brit Invasion, and realised it was just a couple of days after I'd planned to leave, and as I'd not booked my return flight yet, it seemed a bit churlish to pass up such an opportunity, given the practical spitting distance from LA.

While I stayed in LA, I got the chance to shoot with the legendary Chelsea Pfeiffer, and we had a blast playing crazy shopping girls, and a pretend biography dictation, and also one of the famous "Chelsea Spanks" sessions - 30 minutes of bum-beating!



Phew! I was quite relieved on the plane over to LAX that I had two seats to myself to crash out on!

I arrived in the small hours to the hotel and snuck into the room that I was under the impression contained Leia-Ann Woods and proceeded to try and remove make-up, clean teeth, get into bed without disturbing the sleeping figure in the other bed, who had mumbled a very sleepy "Heyyy..." when I got in, then gone back to sleep.
Imagine, therefore, my surprise the next morning when Lucy and Paul knocked on the door (at some bloody ridiculous hour. You'd think my own sodding sister would know the Never Disturb Amy Earlier Than Strictly Necessary rule, really...!) and "Leia" jumped up to answer it sporting a pair of jebs that could knock someone out.
Yup, it was Jadie. So that was a fabulous surprise, if a bit confusing for a few moments.
Needless to say, having a "roomie" for a change was quite exciting. If by "exciting", you mean "debauched."



*ahem*

WHIVSIV. :)

You will note the prominent feature of the Margarita in the above picture. Yes, there are inanimate objects in it, look down a bit.
From the first night, we pretty much set up our refreshment tent in the hallowed halls of St. TGI's, school for errant boys and girls. Because we obviously don't have any of those in the UK, eh? *headdesk*
I discovered part of the reason we were drawn to the heady scent of tequila and over-happy staff:



Yup, clearly a spanko establishment.

Aaaanyway. Friday night was the vendors' fayre, and caught me in a quite horrendous mood, having been to the gym in the morning with no breakfast, then coming back to my room and managing to get distracted with hair/shower things and not eat at all. (know this: rule number one is that Amy Must Eat or Bad Things Happen. It's like Gremlins, but backwards. Snilmerg, if you will.)
Jadie returned from her fabulous helicopter trip high as a kite, and found me curling my hair and chattering to myself with a shaking arm, and threw me the room service menu. Clever girl. OK, so I only ordered a fruit plate even then, but it was American Portions, and so contained half a greengrocers. Sweet...

Lucy then popped by to ask if I'd do her hair, and we all went along to her room to doctor the green Wheatley Manor tee-shirts as best we could. I nipped back to my room to grab something, and couldn't get in.
Thinking I'd picked up our spare key, I went back and got Jadie's to use instead. And again, it didn't work.
Hmmm... After some awf'ly patronising assistance from a passing gentleman (Now really. I know I'm a woman, and I'm blonde, and that my brain is mostly there to distinguish between colours of nail polish, but I do spend quite a bit of time in hotels across the world, so the whole "Insert key card and withdraw slowly" thing isn't the most overwhelming technology I've encountered. Sorry.) I stomped down to reception barefoot, and got them to sort the keys out. Except they wanted ID.
I eventually got the point across that all my worldly belongings were currently locked in the room, and was given two new keys and a bollocking from the security guard for not wearing shoes. Again with the "locked in room" thing, love.

Back up in the jaw-droppingly slow lifts to the room, during which I created some Amber and watched the Grand Canyon being formed at live-speed, I was not even actually that surprised to find neither key working. After calling the front desk from Lucy's room (I'd have probably grown 2 foot of hair in the time the lifts would have taken) I waited several hundred years minutes for security to come and let me into the room, where both myself and Jadie stayed for the next hour and a quarter- with 3 phone calls to the front desk, and one porter with more non-working keys - essentially locked in our room.
Apt for a spanking convention, yes, but not very conducive to manning the Northern Spanking stall and launching Wheatley Manor.
When we eventually got up there - sans keys, by the way. They replaced the lock in the end, and we had to go and collect the keys after the fayre - we were both gasping for a drink, and I was ready to kill. Thankfully there was a nicely flowing bar there. And food. Which wasn't fruit.

We'd tried to watch all of the 2 hours and 51 minutes of Wheatley the previous night, so those of us who hadn't seen it would be able to discuss intelligently the finer points of the plot. Sadly it was so late we only got through the first half - which was brilliant to see still, especially for myself and Leia-Ann, who are in it, but didn't really know how it was going to turn out, as we filmed several bits out of context, like a mainstream film.
We had the film playing on a laptop at the stall, and by the second disk, there was a veritable audience standing a small distance away, watching a rather sexy scene - and several fayre-goers completely oblivious to their blockage of the tiny screen as they perused our DVD selection!

(I did managed to watch the rest after the party, and was struck by it. I'll be making a post before its release on Northern Spanking as I don't think I can really fit it in here. It does have one of the hottest scenes I've ever seen, and also some pretty fiery girly action, so WHOO!)

Another night in TGI's ensued, with myself and Lucy on particularly naughty form, especially in toilets. Toilets of the Ninja variety. Don't ask.

The next day, after our highly random suite party, (which started off so promisingly as a serious British School Punishment scenario and suddenly descended into Carry On Northern humour courtesy of Mr Stephen Lewis. Thanks Ste. I kept managing to get myself extra punishment from big sis for some reason as well. Typical!) myself and Andi went to shoot with another total legend - Clare Fonda and were joined by the gorgeous Sarah Gregory to create Mothers and Daughters 09. Much hilarity involving a security guard coming up to tell us that the downstairs neighbours had complained that "People were jumping up and down a lot up there", and Andi breaking her hairbrush on poor Sarah's behind (which bloody well didn't get me out of it either - Clare very kindly pointed out that her Mason Pearson was in the bathroom, so we could just switch to that for my spanking!)



The evening was the party, and we got dressed up to the nines, and had some more tasty food. I was, possibly for the first time ever - defeated by the chocolate cake, whose slices were about the same size as my car. Quelle (tasty) horreur!

Here's myself and the beautiful Andi. Please note my shoes, which were borrowed for the evening as a benefit of having a sister with a similar shoe-size and a fetish for ridiculously fine shoes. They're Swarovski-encrusted Gina shoes, ladies. (I won't even bother directing that at you boys, I know you switched off at the "sh" of "shoes"...) I love my sister. :)



Bleedin' hell, the words are starting to swim! Tea break!

*insert appropriate "Amy-quaffing peppermint tea" SFX*

Ah-HA! Back in the room!

Actually. What the hell happened after the party? Oh, yes. We went back to what we named the Lilliput Bar for a few nightcaps. Why the Gullivan reference? Just look:




I rest my case.

The next day myself and the other thrill-seeking nut-job among us, Niki Flynn headed to Stratosphere, and had us an early-afternoon, highly hungover, couple of hours of being flung in the air 1,000 foot above the ground. G-force-tastic! We had a real blast, and spent the first ride we went on, the aptly-named Insanity, informing the Strip way below us that we make hardcore CP films in Eastern Europe - and we're proud of it!!

In the evening Lucy, Leia and I headed to Zumanity, one of the 4squillion Cirque du Soleil shows, and had a fabulous time admiring the various, er, highlights of the show. (I think it's probably not good that I got quite excited about a piece of hydraulic bridging, but I did then completely forget about it in the face, or rather, pecs of sheer muscle action going on. Holy. Moly.)
We then hit Coyote Ugly for a while, and actually did dance around handbags, until a drunk guy fell on them. Then the evening pretty much went thus:
Leave Coyote Ugly, take up residence in bar outside.
Drink a lot more.
A certain blonde member of the Brit Invasion simulates a sex act with a large pink simian costume (empty).
Brit Invasion leave shortly after...
...and depart to Downtown, to drink more and supposedly gamble.
Drinking occurs. Some attempt at gambling occurs.
Drinking.
Amy is chatted up by a 40 year old woman and orders another stiff drink.
Cab back to hotel, in which Amy leaves iPhone.
Amy discovers loss, and is thankfully so drunk that it just doesn't matter.
All day breakfast at 3am, with very lovely people (Mija, to name a particular star) assisting in the attempt to track down phone & cab.

I'd had the foresight to get specific insurance before I left, so I was fairly sure I'd be ok on that level. What didn't help was that I then had no time-telling equipment to assist me in getting my flight the next/same morning at 9am, andthe clocks went forwards, and Andi and Leia had borrowed my travel adapter, which meant my laptop was out of battery and unable to switch on and enable me to gleen my exact flight details or check my insurance documents and ascertain what I needed to do.

So, not the least-fraught journey home I've ever had. Obviously I made it, and immediately got onto sorting out claims etc, but I'm hoping the next time I'm over that way it'll be a teeny bit less stressful. Not too much though, or I may risk being complacent. Or just bored.

A couple of days after we got back, we had the Cheeky Girls party, which was pretty tough with jet-lag and a newly pulled selection of muscles in my left leg. Having a pulled glute spanked repeatedly is a tad nippy, and I'm not intending to do it again.
The theme, as is always the case in March, was St Paddy's Day, and so my Vegas Party Dress made another appearance, (hey, I'm getting my money's worth out of that bad boy!) albeit sadly not with splendid splendid shoes.






There's myself with the splendid Donna, who's recently (and finally!!) made her debut on Northern Spanking. What a great lass!

Wowsers. I believe it's bedtime now!

xx