If you had a wish, what would it be for? Forget World Peace and all that pretentious nonsense - be selfish! Would it be for Amelia-Jane Rutherford naked in a pink sparkley foam bath?
Ta-da!!!!!
Oh, you want her bottom, perfectly formed and with a light layer of bubbles, being spanked? Well why didn't you say?!
It's been quite a year of bright young things so far - we've somehow recruited all sorts of utterly gorgeous young fillies, all quite off their own steam (we didn't even have to bribe them!!)
The latest of these lovelies is local girl Alana Rowan, seen here pilfering Paul's private chocolate supply:
Needless to say, Paul is less than impressed...
Two of our newer - and very popular- girls are Kami Robertson and Anna Gordon. We thought we'd dress them up as nurses in black stockings and heels, and then have some horrible bitch beat them up. Consensually, obviously.
It's such a chore working for Northern Spanking, really!
Well, that's it for just now.
But look! There's something not quite Reich about this uniform! Could it be?! It MUST be a genuine uniform - the wipe-clean elements of PVC were clearly favoured about 60 years ago. Was much easier to wipe all the blood off in the trenches and everything...
And look! See how I am walking... That's CLEARLY a goose-step. Oh yes... and I'm going UP THE STAIRS! You know what that means - 60-odd years ago they had STAIRS too.
Surely THE PUBLIC (and by "Public", we mean... yes... We know what they read, anyway) have a RIGHT TO KNOW about why I am hiding my little moustache and reveling in it?
Or maybe someone is just a little insecure because many years ago in class, when the teacher asked what people wanted to be when they grew up, and he replied "An Editor of a Highly-Respected Paper, Miss!", the teacher smiled and said "Well dear, that's lovely, but we think you're more suited to calling the bingo..."
What would I know, I'm just a model!
*removes tongue from cheek*
15 comments:
*pepsi through nose* That rant? Is classic!!
I mean, the pictures are nice and all, but I kinda forgot about them by the time I got to the little mustache...
*snort* You are awesome. :)
Some friends of mine tried to get into a nightclub recently where you had to wear a little black moustache to gain entrance. (I wonder what a Certain Newspaper would make of that?) Apparently there were people going around and giving them out to randoms on the street, but when we were turned away from the door we decided to get creative, and turned up the next night sporting sparkly green and purple moustaches made out of fake fur. We were turned away again. No fair!
Oh, and the pictures are lovely, but you knew that already :) I'm particularly enjoying the contrast between Alana's spanked sit spot, and her pale cheeks that have been protected by her knickers ... until now, that is. Mmmm!
Loved the rant, very funny and on the button.
I do however feel the need to stand up for the Bingo callers of this world. Bingo callers have to develop skills such as being able to count beyond the number five, speak without the aid of an idiot board and develop enough perception of the world to be able to tell where their audience is unaided and much more. All of these abilities are far above the mental capacities of the other parties that you are referring to and I feel that comparing the two is rather insulting to the bingo callers of the world :-)
Prefectdt
I do apologise to all Bingo Callers reading my blog. This is very true, and I suspect Bingo Callers do not feel the urgent need to constantly compensate for having no genitalia.
;)
I'm writing from Deutschland and I've had way too much alcohol to be replying to this post (after dancing to Rammstein [blindfolded and in bondage] with a photographer friend - who was blessedly off duty for the moment!).
But - mein Gott, dass war klasse!
OMG, I just spoke German. You know what that means. And I'm IN Germany now. Hmmm. And you know what else? There's an "i" in my name too. In fact, there are two of them. Could that mean...?
Dude, there was something we weren't supposed to mention, wasn't there?
Oh, too much beer. German beer. Ach! I said it again! Stop saying the word!!!
Oh bugger! My first job after school was calling the bingo... I guess not only have I been compensating all this time, but I'm a natural for the bunker too.
Nah Lancisto, I said Bingo Callers weren't compensating, so you're safe! ;)
Niki - I think the public need to know about this revelation. I'm not going to tell you that I'm doing it though, in case you try and defend yourself. Mkay?
xx
This post has completely and utterly made my night. I mean, aside from Amelia Jane naked in the bath, the last bit...my goodness. And along with Adele I had almost forgotten about them by the end. Brilliant.
Excellant Pictures Amy and i love your humour.
You forgot to mention that because you engage in cp play you are obviously a hooker as well according to that newspaper.
Oh, well, in that case, Amy, report for a thrashing.
No cameras.
Loved both the rant and Prefectdt's passionate defense of bingo callers everywhere. It's nice to be able to laugh a bit at all this dangerous nonsense.
Linking back to Adele, that rant was better than classic, it was pepsi max!
Well, I was taught German at secondary school - and had to wear a uniform, but not only that, I was taken by my parents to see The Sound of Music. Maybe this explains why as an adult I have a fixation with music channels that carry Rammstein videos.
Does sporting a full beard count as wearing a moustache?
Ha! Not only that, Niki, but you also share your first name with a very famous Austrian racing driver, who once drove for Max Mosley's team, and whose disfigurement following a racing accident has given birth to a German drinking song ( (Niki Lauda! Niki Lauda! Niki Lauda hat ein ohr!...) ;)
Having said that, there's a level of hypocrisy in some racing papers that I find absolutely distasteful. This is a sport where one champion is cherished because he used to wear a patch that read 'Sex Is A High Performance Thing' on his driving suit.
IMHO, Max is at his absolute best when fighting for something he loves. This is the same man who helped to keep F1 from collapsing after the deaths of Ayrton Senna and Roland Ratzenbertger at Imola 1994. I suspect some of the resentment towards Max in them is coming a lot more from some of his recent professional choices than his recreational choices, but my respect for him as a man has only been going up since this whole thing unfortunately began.
"One cannot hope to bribe or twist
Thank God! the British journalist
But seeing what the man will do
Unbribed, there's no occasion to"
As Belloc so aptly put it...
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