Wednesday, 30 December 2009


Isn't it strange/hideous how each year just seems to go faster?

I've barely noticed December happening, and now it's over. Goodness.

Here. Have some fairy light porn:

What do you mean, Pandora already did that? Pfff... No pleasing some people...

Shush. It may not be as pretty and nekkid as P's, but it's festive and it's bondage. What more do you want? Oh. Actual content? Rats... Here goes then:

Those of you following my Twitter over to the right will have noticed a mad influx of Strictly Come Spanking promo posts before Christmas.
This was long-awaited from Northern Spanking - possibly longer than Wheatley Manor - and really didn't disappoint. Actually, despite us being slightly concerned about the lack of spanking in it, there ended up being more than I thought there was going to be, and a few incidences of spanking upon myself, which wasn't in the script.

(Stills from the film stolen shamelessly from Pandora and Brush Strokes because I don't have Quicktime Pro. ;p)

Yes, we did indeed not only attempt to recreate the TV prog (Dancing With The Stars, for my Stateside readers) but we succeeded. One of the funniest things about it was the fact that the majority of the cast - myself included - had never seen the show, so were reliant on writers Stephen "MoHMOTI" Lewis and Lucy McLean to describe to us who we were meant to be parodying.

Our judges panel featured a prim English lady who speaks in metaphors, a bitchy camp guy, and an effusive, possibly-on-drugs foreigner. *ahem*

The Couples:

Syra & Paul

Leia-Ann & Stephen

and Amelia-Jane & Hywel

... oh, and a blonde, attention-seeking female presenter, Tess Twice-Daily. And we do indeed invite the Beeb to sue. ;p

Part of the sheer hilarity of the whole film is that we have ad breaks with infomercials created by not only the cast of the film (several months after we forgot about the great ideas we had for it at the time) but also other scene folk such as Irelynn Logeen and Tony and Eve from Shadowlane - so the whole thing is, once again, an epic of folk doing stuff for a fabulous Northern Spanking film out of the sheer love for what we do.

My infomercial was... well... you'll just need to see it to believe it. All I can say is that I wrote and filmed it during a particularly dark week, so am not responsible for any mental scarring brought about. ;)

We filmed it so that there would be a choice of who won - voted for by you, dearest public. It went to a vote, and... the winners.... of Strictly Come Spanking 2009..... are....

You'll just need to watch it and find out, eh?!


In all seriousness, not only has it made us laugh like fools, but also folk who'd never seen it either - Pandora's review of the first two parts was a treat - and also, apparently, vanilla wives (Thanks for the tweet, @RogerWilcox, it made us smile a lot!!) - I now have the DVD version, which contains the outtakes. All 30 minutes of them. As I'm feeling once again a little maudlin, I think I may be sticking them on once I've finished this epic blog.
Yes, I know it needn't be as long if I updated more often, ok?! :D

In other words: Buy it. Love it. Thanks If it helps, I get spanked as three different people in it. None of them Amy. My shrink bill will be through the roof someday.

In other Northern Spanking Fun, we have a film I shot a little while ago as a pushy Avon Lady, telling Stee-Lew MoHMOTI to embrace his metrosexuality:

And a debut from new girl to Northern Rachel Foster, who we worked with in April, on the shoot the day after the famed Car crash

Behold my lack of neck brace - astonishing what photoshop can do, eh?

Finally for this year, a lovely set called "Sit there and listen" featuring the lovely Caroline Grey and Kali Redmond as sisters made to listen to the other being punished. I love the pic of Caroline anxiously waiting while you can see in the next room Kali being bent over. It's phenomenal.
Bravo, Northern Spanking!!

Right. Anything else before I go into hiding for New Year? Oh yes - I've set up a profile on so check that out if you are feeling that way inclined.

*Exits on a whirlwind of frozen yoghurt and ribena*

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Women and elephants never forget an injury...

As many of you will know thanks to Twitter over there >, I managed to destroy my ankle on Saturday.
For those who have asked: I sprang off a high kerb to cross the road, and couldn't see the ground I was landing on due to the awesome combination of everyone's friend The Winter Sun and the fact the infernal rains had just gotten going, creating a pretty, "blinding mirror" effect.
It appears that the tarmac I couldn't see was a bit less flat than I was expecting, and so as I landed, (on my left foot) everything buckled and my fibula decided it would quite like to escape the confines of its normal habitat.
Thankfully the bugger didn't come leaping through my ankle, though, as you see from some of the bruises, it made a bit of an attempt.

Having felt what I realised within a nanosecond was Not Good Sensation, I remembered I was sort-of standing in the middle of a main road near Euston, and was shortly to be mown down by a herd of black cabs, who doubtless had found my extra-bendy-leg skills quite enthralling, as they'd at least allowed me the time to lift my head and ascertain how far away the other side of the road was.
I tried to walk it off for the 100 metres or so I still had to go before my destination. About 10 metres in it was pretty apparent that this wasn't going to be walked off. Or even walked on. By the time I arrived and met a colleague at the front door, I was plummeting into shock, and I had time to tell him what had happened and inform him I was going to start crying in 6 seconds, then everything got a bit more panicky and frantic. I then spent all day being iced with my leg up on a table, being occasionally called-on for my opinion. Ha. My journey home was, um, different: had I still been living in Scotland, I would have gotten a taxi, or called one of my mates to come and grab me. This doesn't happen in the centre of London. The more lucid of my colleagues suggested a route that wouldn't involve much walking, but would take 2 hours instead of 45 minutes. Whoop. And then I couldn't get my boot back on due to having an actual elephant's foot attached to my calf, so I had to "walk" to the bus stop/tube/etc in my sock. Through the many puddles. I looked like I'd been drinking Saturday afternoon cocktails and mislaid my shoe. I wasn't even wearing heels, ffs.
Ruin. Disaster. Shame.
The following day I was also contractually required to be doing things, so I still dragged myself into town with the aid of many drugs and lots of bandages. I don't remember a great deal about Sunday. Since then it's been just about constant RICE-ing and arnica. Which reminds me... Must get some more on the go.

I've been noticeably more stubborn about "taking" body pain since I started martial arts. It's quite a different approach to how I would go about, say, the Spanking Server/Pain 4 Fem Shoot.
It's partially a bravado thing - as one of the lads, I can't let the side down by indicating in any way that it hurts. (Not that I don't utilise the "Oh, you hurt the poor girl! She's curled up in pain and squeaking." card during fights if I feel I need to fight dirty that way. Nothing like a quick stab of guilt to distract a male opponent. It's underhand and smacks a wee bit of Boy Who Cried Wolf. But I only do it if it genuinely hurt. ;p) But it's very much also a Mind Over Matter issue - which I had plenty of before, don't get me wrong. It's not like I've ever lacked guts - but now it's more automatic.
If Sensei pulls me up for a demonstration which I know is going to involve a black-out blow to the neck, or something that's really going to be nasty, I still offer myself up. I suppose it's verging on a trust thing, although it's actually not quite like that.
And no, this isn't me suddenly having a submissive epiphany. I'm afraid that's not going to happen.;)

Hmm. Anyway. Short story - Amy is going stir-crazy due to lack of physical exercise. It's not even been a week. I start physio tomorrow, so hopefully that'll help speed things up.

Right. Enough about my nth disaster of the year (and yes, the less said about that the better. It's almost working out as a monthly thing. Like a pissed-off, spikey period with a hand grenade.) - BRING ON THE TRUMPETS PORN.

One of the main reasons I HEART Northern Spanking is the sheer variety they shoot. Yes, I'm biased. Very heavily biased. But I'm also very truthful.
From cheesecake (in both senses, actually) to severe schoolgirl canings, and bedtime slippering summons to coquettish spankee-initiated sexy romps - they do actually have it all.
Well. Except maybe Amelia-Jane Rutherford in a sheer bodysuit. They don't have t...
Ah HA! Foiled. Yes, yes they do.

I majorly heart AJR on many levels. She's like the embodiment of glittery kittens tap-dancing over a rainbow. Here NSI directed her to "do cheesecake", and she manages to not only do this, but also look darn sexy at the same time. What trickery is this, Rutherford?!

Another set I've been enjoying over the last month has been Pandora's "Enter The Library", which I keep subconsciously substituting with "dragon", of course, and then trying to stifle the emerging spanking spoof that starts springing to mind. Yet another reason myself and Mr Stephen Lewis are not allowed to be in the same room.

The setting is gorgeous for this, and the antique ruler and "Secretary" feel is hawt:

Northern even got her to read her notes back to him. Rarrrrrr.... ;)

And I can't let a blog go by without pointing out that we got Bailey to shoot for us while we were in Vegas. (Erica Scott and Sarah Gregory too. The Stateside Superstars. ;D)

Ah, just who could spank such a sweetie?!
We all know who... the Most Hated Man On The Internet. (I might acronym that up to MoHMOTI, Stee-Lew. Except it sounds a bit too much like Marmot. You see what you've started?)
The Girl! She is Being Spanked! Natural Order is Restored!

(All of the above taken from Northern Spanking)

Goodness, I'm writing like Bret Easton Ellis on popping candy tonight. I think I've had too much arnica.

Just before I go this evening - over at Pain 4 Fem via Spanking Server they've released a compilation DVD of 'The Spanking Machine 4" which features the (frankly scary) machine being used on myself, Pandora, and two other girls - Lucky (or not) and El.
My episode is my bottom being punished;

Pandora's is the one where she had her breasts whipped. Which was hot as hell, from a close-viewing perspective.


But yes, if you're curious about the machine then check it out. It's pretty unique. And savage.

Right. Time for more painkillers. Bye for now...


Saturday, 17 October 2009


My sleep patterns are all to cock this week due to erratic working hours and general RL screw-ups. As of this second I'm not even sure where my "spanking" phone is - I've literally been glued to the "RL Amy" phone, which heralds far fewer exciting prospects, even if it is an iPhone.
I sometimes envy these characters I make up in films for their general lack of responsibility. Only sometimes, mind. ;)

I spent much of the former part of the week involved in non-pr0n (and therefore, sekrit) film shenanigans, which - as much as I love it - I find quite tricky to sit back and let people do my make-up/adjust bits of me/fetch me refreshments/re-set props etc, as I'm so used to doing it for myself.
(NB; this is not, I repeat, not an indication that I don't occasionally like to be waited on and send chain-clad slaves scuttling to fetch me a nice Kahlua on ice. That is generally welcome. A foot rub wouldn't go amiss either.)

Anyway... in lieu of the above I have a glass of Ribena and new sheepskin boots (that are actually better than Uggs and half the price. Yup, those of us from The North are awfully obsessive about getting a decent deal. So I hear!) so in that luxurious setting why not have some pics released on Spanking Server this week?

You know it took me a few moments to work out which panties those were when I saw that picture. Normally I've been known to recall which panties I wore in sets shot 3 years ago with relative ease, but those ones threw me a bit as they're a different pattern on the front.

I'm not sure I ever posted this pic, but I quite like it - from a different set at Spanking Server, obviously.

Oh, ok. It can't all be me, can it? That would just be tedious. Besides; we've had a new model go up over at Northern Spanking so I have to share her, don't I?!

Meet Nimue. She's a popular UK fetish model who joined us on our Yorkshire shoot earlier in the year. I had the very great delight of punishing her more than once, and she's another regular on Twitter if you're not already following her.

What do you mean, you want to see her face? I thought you only loved us for our rears! Oh, alright then... How about pretty face and cleavage? Does that work?

Northern put up a real treat for pyjama lovers recently.
Here is what Paul had to say about the incident:
Some of you may remember that, not so long ago, I had no option but to give young Kali a very sore smacked bottom. I had hoped that was the end of the matter when I sent her, well-smacked, to bed without supper.

During the course of the evening I received, by means of the telephone, further disturbing news of Kali's misbehaviour in the village. It was necessary therefore and, with some regret, to visit Kali in her room and administer another smacked bottom and a firm dose of the strap to her pyjama clad behind. Some minor cheek during the punishment forced me to bare Kali's now no doubt extremely sore bottom, for the rest of her punishment.

I have the feeling Kali will be sleeping on her tummy tonight.

I love both of these pics. The position and the pyjamas are both great.

And I know I haven't really shown lovely Kali's face, but if you're intrigued to see how she reacts facially then head over to N.S.I

Another set that caught my eye on Northern recently was Kami's latest; Suspended and Spanked:

There's several of this lovely angle, which shows the awesome socks and uniform. I'm sure you'll agree it's aesthetically pleasing on several levels. Not least thanks to Stephen Lewis, hand model extraordinaire, who has also recently started to Twitter. (If you haven't already, then follow me at Hello Miss Hunter - from there you can find many of your favourite spanking scene folk. And lots of porn stars. Whatever floats your boat...)

Actually, the above link contains one of my new pictures as the background, so go and check it out - I quite like it. From the same set, here's another to bid you a goodnight:

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Random quick update

I'm on the front page of Strict Women just now. Go take a look!

(and no, I'm not actually spanking *my* father. I think Lucy would be a bit miffed about that, at the very least... ;p )

Scratch that, it's changed now. Ah well, till the next time...

I've shot for Strict Women rather more recently than that video anyway - just a couple of weeks ago, in fact - but the material isn't available just yet. Pity, as there was a terrific tawse and cane vid amongst others!

Here's a pic of some people you may recognise though - and yes, unusually for this shoot we had guests round from Northern Spanking and also Bars and Stripes - neither Paul nor the Guv offered up bottoms for my warm-up strokes though. Spoilsports... You won't have seen the gorgeous girly on the left though, who is Miss Zoe's sister, and to whom I gave her first EVER spanking. On video. Ohhhhh yes. I'll link to that when it goes up, that's for sure....

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Egads, it's September!

Well, as those of you who follow me on Twitter will know, I've been fairly busy with all sorts of life issues. Those of you who have actually seen me (and kudos, 'cause I've not been easy to catch) know more of the details, but suffice to say it's been a slightly rocky month or two.

The first of September rolls around (yet again - off go the bloody swallows!) and it's back to school with a bump.

Unless you're Kami Robertson. In which case, it's back to school - and immediately expelled - with a bump in the shape of a nasty looking caning -the Northern Spanking Institute is not tolerant of wicked ways and depravity in uniform, so a freshly expelled and shamed Kami is sent home, and promptly receives the thrashing of her life there. I love this pic of the results:

Meanwhile, some of our girls - shock horror - actually enjoy their punishments. God Forbid, eh, Daily Heil?
Here we have the ridiculously sexy Katja in her Northern Spanking debut, being slowly peeled out of her tight jodphurs by none other than the divine Andi Switch for a sensual cropping and OTK spanking.

When "Girls' Night In" was released over on Northern, one of the members - who declined to identify themselves - chose to comment with a highly constructive "yawn".
Now then:
Quite aside from the fact that he was too pussy to leave a name, (and yes, we can see from which account comments are left, kittens) I have a slight issue with people who do this. Especially repeat offenders.

Firstly - it's a film featuring three of the hottest models about, in sexy underwear.

Secondly - there is the ubiquitous girly action that section 4.36 of the NSI Filming Mandate invokes: ...should a film contain both Leia-Ann Woods and Jadie Reece, it is required that lesbian acts are undertaken on no less than 80% of that material. Failure to adhere to this guideline will result in DOOM and retention of cheesecake...

Thirdly - We're all mostly mature enough to accept that Not Everyone Is Going To Like Every Scenario. Some of us at NSI feel like peeling our eyeballs rather than do another quivering schoolgirl video, but we still do them, because we like to have some of the best variety around. You name it, we've probably done it. This includes Schoolgirls in Space, so yes, we've covered that base. ;)

Fourthly -If you feel the need to vociferously condemn a film/photoset, then why not try making it constructive? Rather than "yawn", why not try "I felt this set was a bit too same-y/slow-moving/disjointed/vomit-inducing/focussed on knees. I would love to see more boobs/knees/crash zooms/cake/build-up/raptors. Thanks for working your butts off thus far, NSI, I know just how much hard work it is trying to please everyone. I am sending chocolate as I speak. Yours in spanking-awe, A. Member."

I think I had a "fifthly", but the last paragraph pretty much erased it from my head. Oh dear. On to a couple of pics - these are both candid shots from the set, taken by one of our photography experts, Billy. I love them, so I'm sharing them here rather than using the official stills from the film - you can see them all on the site though.

Harrumph. Now that's out of the way, I wanted to pilfer and share a picture from Mistress Switch's blog, because I love it.
We had a fabulous party with her a couple of weeks ago, at which the very sexy Erin Best made her scene debut (look out for more of this stunning girl, as we at Northern are going to kidnap her!) and we were joined at the end by none other than Cassie Hunter who delighted us with her caning. I'd been wanting to meet "the other Hunter" for some time, so to get to cane alongside her was a thrill. I hope to work with her again soon. ;)

l-r: Leia Ann Woods, Cassie Hunter, Andi Switch, Jadie Reece, Erin Best, Nicole Reina and Moi.

Finally for today, an album launch preview:

If you thought the stars from Northern were only skilled at bending over, you'd be wrong...

Monday, 20 July 2009

If in doubt, resort to Nekkid.

I can't believe no-one has commented on the last post yet! What is wrong with you?! I spent minutes on that, MINUTES!

Pandora recently set a challenge of sorts, to recreate the Vilena pose as a kind of spanking model meme.

You can see her attempts on her post. This is my "midnight after a crazy day on 3 hour's sleep" attempt. Yeah yeah, red eye - like you're looking at that!

Don't say I'm not good to you. Sometimes. ;)

Friday, 17 July 2009

...I think she thought "bukkake" was what the army librarians wear...

As I was dashing through the snow Paddington Station today, I saw a poster that made me GUFFAW. So I obviously stopped and took a quick picture of it to share its sheer wisdom and insight. ;)



Screw it, why stop at the painting?!

Much better!

Thursday, 9 July 2009

And then they made me their king

Now you see; with the whole Twitter thing, it's much easier for me to update things. However, it does rather mean that you don't get any lovely pictures, like this from Northern Spanking:

This is from Remedial ClAss, one of our HD films. Lucy asked for some help with the title, as the script/concept was entitled Div Kids, and we didn't think it was massively P.C. Not that we specialise in being particularly P.C... I banged out a few, including Sascha's Special. Remedial 'Ass. NSI School For The Gifted. Forrest Rump.Dunce Upon A Time. Bum and Bummer. (I should work in the headlines department at a tabloid, or something.) and clearly Lucy was inspired by one of them.

I just love that angle of leg kick and the flash of Leia-Ann's Panties. Lovely!

And another HD film in the last month from NSI! This is, of course, Zoe Montana with a freshly caned bottom, and is from the film "Corrective Surgery"

Also at Northern Spanking, a lovely stills set featuring two of my most favourite girls. Obviously my sister is one of them (she with-holds my chocolate if I say otherwise. AND locks me in the Amy-cupboard...) but whose delightful bottom is that under scrutiny?

Indeed. It could only belong to the brilliant Andi Switch!

I suppose a blog post should really have something of me on it, being massively narcissistic an' all.

How about a picture from our favourite bondage friends at Restrained Elegance?
This was my first suspension, and was an awful lot of fun.

I also got to work with the resident slavegirl there, Ariel Andersson - known more to the spanking community as Miss Amelia Jane Rutherford, of course. And whilst she's the slavegirl, she sometimes gets to tie up the other models, as you can see. It was a real chore, I can tell you. Especially when she looked mean and ripped my jacket open...


Anyway. I've been busy this month, although in more of a vanilla way. Haven't done a party now since April, so I'm quite keen to get back into the swing of things, for want of a better phrase.

I've started doing some martial arts training, needing an appropriate channel for violence and pain, and am perpetually nursing shin, foot, forearm and chest bruises at the moment. I'm also inflicting far more than my fair share though, on the blokes I spar with. I also successfully convinced a very vanilla fighter to take a decent stroke on his ass with an Escrima stick, which was basically a cane-density, short, broom handle. Rather like a particularly cruel Singapore, really.
The payoff? I had to do it with my top off. Ummm... because clearly thousands of people across the world haven't already seen my bra.
Only one stroke, but I made it count. The impact threw him forwards onto the bed, and the shock was such that he got through "Oh, actually that wasn't that ba..." before the pain hit him. Hum-te-tum! And what a lovely stripe! Virgin bottoms are far too much fun.

I'm hoping I don't get too tempted to repeat it in the Dojo - I'm already having enough trouble with the discipline/etiquette side of things, and Sensei is not someone I fancy insulting.
Although... grab a Bo and a few nifty knots, and this might be the result:

I'll maybe suggest it to them.

Thursday, 11 June 2009


Just in case you were having problems showing up marks as distinctly as you build up a tolerance, why not try getting it inked on your ass forever?

Yeah. I saw a link to The Independent's Most Bizarre Tattoos on a body art forum I read, and as I found a PHIL tattoo (see link), felt compelled to immediately send it to Northern Spanking HQ

I don't even think that PHIL is my favourite out of those. It might be the Owl with Tits, actually.