Chronicles of Correction

New Blog

2011-07-18T18:04:00.002+01:00

Hullo folks

I have now moved to a new blog address - please visit/update your bookmarks to

Atomic Briton

They said it would never be made...

2011-04-09T00:54:00.003+01:00

... and by that I actually mean the film, rather than a blog post.

Yes, I have been laughing a great deal this week as my sis Lucy has pulled a film I'd almost forgotten we'd done out of the Northern Spanking bag of tricks.

A few years ago - probably whilst reading some inane forum comment about how not all films are the same schoolgirl theme and therefore some producers are ripping people off by not churning out the same half-hearted "uniforms in generic detention in someone's living room" dross all the darn time - Lucy and I were discussing what we could possibly do that was new in terms of a schoolgirl film.

We'd done detentions for every reason under the sun. Classroom naughtiness of all varieties. Misbehaving in gym and being dealt with by the gym mistress also then followed by reporting to the head. Prefects dealing with younger girls. Head Girl duties. Taking letters home to angry guardians. Being expelled then dealt with it both at school and at home. Schoolgirl erotic encounters with other schoolgirls. Schoolgirl erotic encounters with inappropriate figures. Giggling girls trying out stuff they'd seen in magazines. Terrified girls being made to wait for hours for the inevitable. Short Sharp Shocks. Dealt with in the head's office. Dealt with in the classroom. Dealt with at the neighbour's house. Dealt with in the farmer's field. Dealt with in the random garden they were busking off school in.
And don't even start us on the variety of uniforms. Traditional. Mini-kilts. Summer Dress. Gym Kit. Japanese. Ann-Summers style.

So yes, we'd covered all those bases, and some of them multiple times with different girls. And so we were discussing film ideas that we might only dream of someday. I imagine I came up with things like Schoolgirls Vs Ninjas and Schoolgirls On Fire before declaring that we should do Schoolgirls In Space. It was meant as a bit of a piss-take. But, as with many things at Northern Spanking, we think the most important thing is that the actors involved enjoy it in some way.
And so some sort of script was written (which is always an immediate nightmare, as we're used to improv, and once someone deviates it tends to bugger up the flow of things a bit) and by chance we got to work in the lovely Restrained Elegance studios before they moved, and there they had a basic "industrial" style set. All we therefore needed was to make some suitably retro sci-fi control panels (and believe me, I've never seen the boys so pleased with their work. SO MUCH GEEK.) and cover most other surfaces in all of my tinfoil. Oh. And make foil hats, which were apparently "essential" to the script. Props set against eachother to create these marvels of millinery. Leia-Ann and I modelled them. The glamour!

There then follows a film that is both gloriously geeky, highly hilarious and... er... concluding in caning.

Despite it being filmed some time ago (I'm blonde and a bottom in it!) I remember how sore the spanking was - it's always trickier to take when you're in the purposeful deadpan comedy mode, I find - and whilst obviously the brief domme debut of Amelia-Jane is a fairly light token caning, the captain swiftly takes over and drives it home, which was bloody sore.

There's also a fabulous surprise ending which I'd totally forgotten about, and involves a certain gorgeous tall blonde model in very nice underwear receiving a particularly sexy spanking. You'll have to see that bit on the Northern site, but if you fancy a little video preview of the rest of it, then look below.

FREE preview trailer for Schoolgirls In Space

Live Long and Prosper... ;)

Finishing School part II - The Bus Driver's Tale.

2010-12-02T20:32:00.003Z

This is one of the best anecdotes of the weekend - and that is no mean feat, given the calibre of the rest of them.

Once Lucy and I had decided on the venue etc, we had to sit down and work out the logistics of transporting 10 girls, ourselves, and several "bachelors" to a remote castle, about 80 minutes' drive from Glasgow.

Initially Lucy and I planned to drive ourselves and do various airport/station runs. But then she hit on the idea of hiring a bus.

The more we talked about the weekend as a whole, the more we felt it would be fun/appropriate to have Miss Hammond-Grant collect the girls in character. However we had two problems:

1) There was a significant gap between the airport pick-up and the train station pick-up. Suppose the first batch of girls alerted the others on Twitter?

and 2) Your average hire-firm minibus/coach driver is potentially going to be - at the very least - a bit unnerved by some tweed-clad, posh snow queen shouting at slightly frightened grown women who have no idea where they're going, had their phones taken off them, and been suddenly plunged into role without any warning.

We decided therefore that we would confiscate all phones when we picked up each batch, and also that I would see how the land lay with the driver on the day and see if he'd be up for letting me be in character if we slipped him a wee tip.

As mentioned previously, due to the various upheavals and obstacles in the run up to the actual event, not much thought was given to the whole driver thing, and on the arrival day we were so snowed under with last minute food buying/lesson prep after the astonishing 2 hours' sleep, that I basically had to throw everything of mine into Lucy's car and drive on my own out to the castle so I could actually meet the bus driver there.

I had 20 minutes to transform into AHG, which also included ironing and putting some make-up on, so when the driver turned up early and rang the castle bell, I had to leg it, half-dressed, down two flights of stairs and draw back the huge bolts on the front door to ask him if he wouldn't mind just waiting in the coach for a few minutes. Agh.

By the time I was ready, Lucy had just arrived having been driven up by our father. They'd invited the driver into the kitchen for a cuppa, and started chatting a bit. When I got Lucy on her own before I left, she said "I think it's 50/50, but go with your instinct."
I pointed out that given the average of 3 hours' sleep a night for the last couple of weeks, and given the fact we were both stricken with a cold, which rendered me deaf in one ear (and still has done), I might not actually be switched on enough to judge it, but I'd see.

We were ready to leave for the first pick-up at the station. I nipped to the loo, and when I came back, Lucy grabbed me and said "we have to abort the plan: dad's told him the whole party is our dad's 70th."

*augh*

Ah yes.
This is actually less confusing than it appears - we'd hired the venue after checking it would be somewhere we could chill out undisturbed for a "party of friends and family." and were told that would be fine.
Cue Lucy and I picking the keys up from the owner on the Thursday and finding him to be rather more precious about the place than your usual holiday-home hire-owner. He was pressing quite heavily for details of why we were partying - presumably concerned that it would be some horrifically raucous 21st party which would trash the place, so we told him it was "dad's surprise 70th." with guests coming from as far afield as San Francisco. Which was true. Well. The latter bit. And much of the "surprise" bit.
When we got home in the small hours of Friday (yes, the same day we then went back and did the prep and picked the girls up. What sleep?) we'd mentioned it to dad, so it was logical for him to say to the driver, who had asked casually about the party, that it was a 70th for our dad. Except of course, Lucy had mentioned at a different time to the driver that the other man in the kitchen - clearly not someone of 70 years of ages- was her father. Cue slightly perplexed driver.

I then went out to do the hour and 15 minute journey in which I had to be probing and scoping the situation the whole darn time. I suppose at least I wasn't driving this time. (I incidentally made that journey 7 times on the Friday. Splendidly sick of the view and corkscrew roads by the 6th go...)

I started up a standard, friendly conversation. Talking about cars and driving, his family and home etc, which engaged him nicely and let me see him speaking without reserve. After about 20 minutes I steered us back to talking about the pick-up. I needed an opener that would let me properly test the waters, so went with a bit of silence, and then:

Me: "Wow. I guess you must get a fair few rowdy groups on your buses?"
Driver: "Oh no. The boss is really precious about the buses. We don't allow any weddings, or hen parties, or rugby/football teams."
Erk. Not a good start. I make sympathetic, slightly disapproving conversation about how badly said parties can behave after a drink or two.
He asked if the group we were picking up would be excited about the party. I said that yes, they would be, but also probably a bit nervous, as they didn't know where we'd be going.
He silently queried this, so I ventured further with a nice, laid-back "We're actually doing quite a cool theme for the weekend. It's kind of like... oh, how can I describe it... role playing?"

A brief pause, in which my mind is hammering various-case scenarios and distraction prospects...

Driver: "Oh, like a murder mystery weekend?"
Me: "Sort of, yes. Except it's not as conventional... *thinking fast* actually, it's going to be quite unusual... Lucy and I are really into retro fashion and activities, and we're going to teach the girls things like flower-arranging and deportment and lady-like walking. It's like a kind of... Finishing School? I'm going to be this teacher who talks like this and is quite strict about them doing things properly."

I hold my breath slightly and hope that didn't sound too weird. The driver thinks for a moment.

Driver: "Sort of like Ladette to Lady?"
Me: *making rather enthusiastic gestures in much the same way as a charades player* "Yes! Exactly like that!"
Driver: "That's a really cool idea. Really unusual. So are you an actress then?"
Me: "Yep. it's a lot of fun. Basically, like in the programme, they're going to do a meal and performance to show what they've learned when the guys arrive tomorrow for the proper party."
Driver: " So basically these guys are going to come in and just be cosseted by women all night? Is that not a bit sexist?"
Me: "Well. Yes, I suppose so. But it's more like an exhibition of their new skills rather than slavery. I think the girls are pretty excited to learn this stuff to be honest - it's quite a fun game to them."
Driver: "Yeah, I guess so..."

Here is the tricky bit. I've already sown the seeds for him being ok with me playing a mad posh woman on his bus, and also am insured for any freaked-out "where the hell are we going" reactions from the girls. So technically I can get away with just this. But if I want to speak to them about bad behaviour on the bus - and it's a bloody long journey in the dark with no phones - I need to push this a bit further and test the water just a bit more.

We're crossing the Erskine Bridge, and the conversation has tailed off, which means I have about 20 more minutes to plant the seeds and harvest the proverbial crop. Not a long time for such a gamble, and I'm conscious that it is definitely a risky gamble for various reasons, so it does take digging deep to trust my instincts - which are good, and are actually telling me that it's ok - as it's not just me on the line if it backfires. (If it was just me and a couple of people I knew well, I'd have already told the driver by the time we turned onto the hill road. This was a bit more critical though, especially given that I had never met or spoken to pretty much half of the people going.)

I take a deep breath and fix his body language in my peripheral vision.

Me: "To be fair, I'm not sure how much they'll be up for learning anyway. I think some of them might mess about a bit and be naughty..."
Driver: "Oh. But if they're putting on the party for the guys they'll probably need concentrate on that."
Me: fuck it, I'm going for it. "Well the thing is, part of the reason they're doing the whole Finishing thing is... well... goodness, how can I explain it... in their personal lives they're all into... well, spanking."
*insert pause while I monitor his reaction from the side whilst desperately trying to appear nonchalant.*
Driver: "What?"
Me: "Er. Yes."
Driver: "Hang on, this just took a turn - you're saying they like spanking?"
Me: "Yeah. So if they're messing about or drop dinner or whatever then they'll get punished. But they actually find it very exciting, I suppose."
Driver: "Sounds a bit like something in the News of the World."
Me: *swallows a tonsil* "Well. I think they cover plenty of that these days. They've moved on to much more exciting things."
Driver: "Well... That's really something... I had no idea things like this happened. I've never done anything like that. Though I did get spanked once - my leaving do at my last job, they got me this woman to come in, and she dressed in a skimpy nurse outfit, and she spanked me with her hand, and then a cane."
Me: "Ooh, the cane is rather severe!" *guffaw*
Driver: "It didn't do anything for me though. Just hurt."
Me: "Well, obviously it's each to their own. Some folk like this kind of thing, some don't. There shouldn't be an issue either way if everyone's happy."
Driver: "True."

We then have another few moment's silence. I've been texting Lucy updates throughout the journey. Starting with "Don't think it's a goer." Then progressing through "Still scoping -I've explained it's a role-playing weekend" to "Well, I've told him it's spanking. And he seems to be ok. If perplexed."

We're driving along in the dark now.
Driver: "You've got me quite shocked about that now. I'm thinking about it all."

Hmm. I need to do a bit more gentle banter I think.
We're approaching the station where 6 girls are waiting outside Thorntons, oblivious to their fate. The driver informs me he'll drop me and then go round the block if he can't park. I need to make this seem like more of a game, so proffer "Wow, this is going to be quite funny - I must practise my accent and making sure they sit nicely on the bus for you!"
Driver: "I can be Parker!"
Me: *air punches like a mad woman on the inside whilst maintaining outward friendly composure* "If you like! You're our driver!"
Driver: "I mean, if that's ok as a name. I just thought of Lady Penelope's chauffeur."
Me: "That's brill. I hope they're not cheeky to you, you might have to tell them to sit quietly..."

And so I go and fetch the girls. Still not entirely sure how cool he is with the whole thing, but confident at least that he won't freak out when AHG returns.

I see the suitcases first. And the winter coats. Leia-Ann spots me striding towards them in my highly unsubtle Mulberry check waistcoat in mustard yellow, a pencil skirt and heeled brogues, and the smile on her face as she is about to greet her friend Amy is disrupted when I fix them all with an unamused stare and ask if they're for Darling's.

it's rush hour. The station is full of commuters, and I'm very aware that I am not dressed subtly. Or behaving subtly. Or walking subtly. I do a head count, locate them all, and then instruct them to follow me. A nervous hush has descended over the group. People look over at the strict, polished brunette and her brisk, loud walk and see a gaggle of girls in her wake.
We locate the bus, and Parker comes out and opens the door.
I ask him if he could put their cases in the back, and he says "Certainly Madam." and then once seated he informs the girls that they will be expected to wear their seatbelts at all times on the journey and not make a mess.
I confiscate the phones and take my seat at the front again, smiling to myself and occasionally interjecting their conversations with reprimands when the subject is inappropriate.
Parker starts to join in with this, asking if "Madam thinks the young ladies would be interested to know some of the landmarks on the way." and "I must say, Madam, that I do not feel the young ladies should be discussing their favourite beer."

Brilliant. I am responding in the affirmative and silently listening to the conversations behind me for things that will drop them in it when we arrive at the Academy. Things like discussion of multiple partners, shagging and lewd comments about ferrets. I am also texting Lucy with "Parker is being strict!!"

The atmosphere in the bus starts to chill the further into the dark we drive. After about an hour, they are thoroughly disorientated. The route involved a drive past an MOD base, and Lucy and I were a bit concerned when we hit it the first time due to poring through the directions and suddenly assuming we'd gone very wrong. We both laughed that it'd be funny to imply that the huge barbed-wire gates and armed posts were for the Academy, so as we approached it I announced to the girls "Ladies, we will shortly be met by Mrs Darling at the gates of the Academy..." and Parker slowed right down to approach the gates.

The hush that descended over the girls was exquisite - except for Leia-Ann, who pretty much came in her pants. Then we pulled away down another road and I exclaimed "Only joking, girls!"
Relieved laughter from behind me accompanied my text to Lucy saying that I'd pretty much made them shit themselves.

Upon arrival we rang the front bell, and Lucy drew back all the big bolts and slowly opened the doors. I told Parker to go and get another cup of coffee, and we sat 6 very unsure ladies down in the drawing room and handed out the folders containing the rules, the timetables, and the group information.
Lucy then asked me to read them the rules - two pages of them that I hadn't seen before and that she'd typed up at 5am, incidentally - as her voice had nearly gone by then.
I did this in full booming AHG voice, and it clearly carried around the ground floor.

I got ready for the second pick-up from the Airport - now at the end of my second or third wind of the day and throwing back a cup of coffee to prepare for yet another journey. I had a quick word with the driver in the kitchen to check he wasn't freaking out, and he giggled and commented how nervous they'd been and how funny it was. Winner.

As we left, I stopped to put the confiscated phones in a safe place (and also to empty my poor handbag a bit - I'd been carrying my ebony hairbrush with me as a character prop, and that plus my phone, a wallet, and 7 smartphones was a bit excessive.) and as I headed out, Parker came back in to find me.
Parker: "Madam, one of the young ladies is smoking outside already, and that is against the rules you read. Should you come out and chastise her?"
Me: *doing some wild celebratory dance in my head* "Why yes, thank you for alerting me to this, Parker."

And so it was that Leia-Ann found herself having her first run-in with Miss Hammond-Grant before lessons had even begun.
I'd not told Parker that Lucy and I would be spanking the girls, but I figured he'd taken to the idea so well I might as well just go for it, so informed her to lift up her coat and bend over.
The driver's cab faced directly on to her jean-clad bottom, and the outdoor light illuminated every aspect as I took the hairbrush out and walloped her 6 times with it.
Then I marched off to the bus. As I shut the door, Parker asked
"Was that for my benefit?"
Me: "Partially, yes."
Parker; "Gosh, I'm all a-quiver."
Me: *grins in the dark*

We chatted about all sorts on the journey back to the city. I needed a bit of time out of character and even a little zone-out, and he respected that.
As we approached the airport he said he was going to pop in for a Caffe Nero, and asked if I wanted one too. As much as I love it, I had to decline, as I don't think it's a very Hammond-Grant drink. Not in the takeaway cup, anyway.
As we walked into the airport I handed him the cash tip, which he tried to refuse, but I insisted, saying that he was being such a good sport and it was making everyone's weekend so much better.

We discovered Caffe Nero had gone, so he said he'd walk to the meeting point with me. The airport was rammed. God knows what was going on, but there were crowds everywhere. I had a "Darling's Academy" sign with the crest on it and was holding it in front of me, as I hadn't met or seen any of the airport group before.
Parker looked with me, and we eventually spotted them huddled with their cases. Again there was the realisation on the faces that this was not an informal, chatty meeting, and I checked they were all there. Then Parker suddenly announced himself as Parker, their driver, and told them to bring their luggage along to the bus.
I set off alongside him, and was aware almost straight away that they were not following immediately behind us. Looking back, they were bunched up, suddenly very unsure about following these two strangers out of an airport.
I slowed my pace a bit, and Parker said he'd go ahead and meet me at the bus.
When we arrived there, he had put on his smart chauffeur's jacket, and then opened the door for "madam", went to the back of the bus and told the girls to line up smartly and pass their luggage to him one by one.
I am suddenly hugely glad that they are all facing away from me, as this strictness makes me grin involuntarily.
We get on the bus, and he stands up at the front and gives them an introductory lecture about behaviour on the bus. My life!

Of course, the girls all assume (as did the previous set) he's a scene guy we have gotten to hire a bus, so start to behave like little madams. We've not left the airport before the singing starts. Songs bordering on very rude, and enthusiastic renditions of numbers from highly non-PC show Avenue Q.
Caoilfhionn starts baiting Parker, asking questions incessantly. Are we there yet? Would you like some cheese? Can we drink water? Would you like us to sing another song?
We stop for petrol and I am serenaded by the four of them singing a song for Miss Hammond-Grant, accompanied by what I think is a kazoo. (Bear in mind I am deaf in one ear and facing away from them.)
I get banter back for every reprimand I try, and so I sit back and let them talk themselves into trouble - again, storing up things they're saying for later - and let Parker deal with some of the back-chat.
He throws in a few comments about how cold it is in the academy and he hopes they have brought their winceyette pyjamas as we might get snowed in (ho ho, how apt!)
The girls move on to the Sound of Music, and I send Lucy another text saying that I might lose the will to live. She replies with "Are this lot a bit more boisterous then?"
Erm.
Yes.

"The Hills are Alive" starts up, and after the first line an angelic "Ah-ah-ah-ahhhh." is added. Not having a full field of hearing, I am about to reprimand Jemima for this, who I believe is able to actually get that high and that loud. Then the girls chorus in delight "Parker is singing!"

My eyes widen slightly, as they continue, and another set of "Ahh"s is heard. This time I see Parker actually singing it. They finish the song and express disappointment that he didn't do a final Ah at the end. To which he replies;
"I think the ladies will find that the song does not end with that chord."
Well that shut them up.
An attempt at "Doe, a deer" was then made, which disintegrated after the first two lines, and Parker exclaimed "If you're going to sing that at least get the words right, ladies."

Fabulous. Our bus driver is a musicals fan. This is almost better than the Parker stuff.

I do the MOD trick again on the way past, which also results in 4 tightened bum-cheeks on the back seat, and then we arrive at the academy.

I didn't explain that Lucy and I would be using different names for the weekend - feeling that detail was probably a little bit unnecessary in the grand scheme of "please don't have me arrested for being a mad, abducting pervert" things - so as we pulled into the driveway he announced to the girls that
"Lady Lucy will be waiting for you in the grand hall."
Well if that's not initiative, I don't know what is. He'd had to call me to chastise Leia, and had said "Miss Amy" at that time, so this was even more fabulous.Talk about getting into the spirit of things.

We bundled the girls into the castle, and Lucy and I popped out quickly to express our thanks. He said it had been the weirdest hire he'd had, but the most fun, and to ask for him if we ever needed school transport again.
We said we'd definitely do so, and would be giving his boss a glowing report about how fab he was. Then off he went, probably playing over everything in his head the whole way home.

We had a bit of sushi and sandwiches as an easy evening meal, and Lucy told me that while I'd been gone, they'd had a little down-time out of character as it was all a bit intense, so we had a little more over the evening meal, which I found a bit tricky to get into at first, but then once she suggested I told the girls the truth about the driver, I was able to relax. And thoroughly enjoy the mortification on the faces. Especially Leia, whose "penny dropping" moment was priceless.
The Airport girls were horrified, exclaiming that they'd only behaved badly because they assumed he was "one of us".
Muahahahaha!

I was asked to relay the story to all the guests at the end of the weekend, and then once I had delivered the whole tale, was asked if I would write it all down.

And so here it is.

Rather like Jackanory. But much cooler.

Finishing School Introduction.

2010-11-30T21:44:00.005Z

As you will have gleaned from Twitter recently, my sister Lucy of Northern Spanking fame and I ran an ambitious and completely different play event at the weekend, in a remote Scottish Castle. (which we promptly got snowed into. What else did you expect?)

(The actual only picture I have from the weekend: Amelie Hammond-Grant wearing the Darling's Academy apron for supervising afternoon tea, in front of the castle door. Ludicrous that I only got one, but shows how busy and immersed I was - wasn't even taken on my phone - that was courtesy of Sir Rodney Effing's iPhone.)

The idea of a finishing school has always been one of Lucy's big fantasies, and not something seen a lot these days, although in mainstream culture of course, Ladette to Lady has been a popular television phenomenon.

When the first talks of Finishing School (or FS, as we usually referred to it) started on Twitter, I was a bit bogged down with various things at the time and didn't really notice the talks starting between some of the girls and Lucy. When she decided to possibly run a play event and asked who was interested, I didn't pipe up; given how rarely I switch these days, I have no interest in doing things as a bottom unless they really appeal to me on specific levels, and given that Lucy would be topping as Mrs Darling, a character who has been in waiting for some time, that was definitely not something I would be going for.
I also wasn't sure about saying that I'd like to be a teacher, as several girls who had bagsied places if the play went ahead were girls I had never met or even spoken to - always tricky to judge chemistry/levels with that kind of unknown quantity, especially as 80-90% of my domming is with men.
I casually mentioned it to Lucy, who was secretly delighted that I was interested, and I was immediately caught up in the whirlwind of initial planning, which soon led to much detailed research and brainstorming between us.

The idea caught on to the point where Lucy had to decide to try and find a larger venue, as we had more than the maximum 6 girls interested, with a waiting list of 7 or 8. At this stage, the original six girls had already booked their travel to come up to Scotland for the weekend dates that best fit all of us, so it had to be a venue up that way.

Much detailed organisation and planning occurred after this - several long nights of Lucy and I in the office firing off ideas, planning outfits, meals, logos, mottos, rules, etc etc, and getting frighteningly enthusiastic about creating running Twitter accounts for Amelie Hammond-Grant and Mrs Darling , which we casually revealed to key people after a couple of months of Tweeting and monitoring the increasingly excited and mischievous tweets of the girls going. (Tweeting offences and plots were brought up in assembly and dealt with - much to the dismay of the more prolific miscreants, who had thought their 140 characters of mischief two months ago had gone unnoticed.... ;) )

Lucy in her usual army precision arranged every detail down to tiny elements, with spreadsheets and times and drafts of each plan.
This kind of attention to detail is incredible at the best of times, and something Lucy is well-known for in Shoots/Party organisation.
It's therefore rather annoying when people who know this already take advantage of her desire for smooth running and suddenly change plans last minute without actually checking that it won't require huge shifts of pre-existing arrangements - which of course she will somehow make at her own sacrifice, as she's the most splendidly unselfish, generous person I know.

Thankfully all of our 10 girls in the intake appreciated the effort Lucy had made with this, and despite there being, for various serious reasons, very little time to orchestrate the whole event in the end, and despite both of us being sick as dogs and having an average of 3 hours sleep a night in the week prior to the school, it seemed her last-minute request as Lucy to maybe cut Mrs Darling (and I assume, Ms Hammond-Grant by that reasoning!) a bit of slack given the circumstances, was fairly unnecessary.

Granted, there were many rough edges and elements that we'd planned which weren't there - several things got snarled up in the ever-fabulous Royal Mail, some companies sent us wrong orders, things we'd put on the ever-increasing shopping list were sold out when we'd been told they weren't, and there just literally wasn't time for some details we'd been plotting.

Watching one of the several episodes of Ladette to Lady that we consumed for research, we noticed a clip of their morning "assembly" in which the camera opened on the last line of their hymn, which was the final line of "To be a Pilgrim", except with the word "Lady" instead of the Pilgrim.
Lucy asked me if that was a real song, because we "needed it". I had a poke about online, but concluded they had just altered the words a bit. Obviously I offered to write a version for us - after the fun of writing "Shakey Ass" and the accompanying lyrics for the Northern Spanking film about the awful girl band "Hot Fuzz", I wanted to do a bit more comedy song writing.
I wrote the first verse straight away - as I would be trying to bash out some accompaniment on the piano, I didn't want to do a huge amount, and also felt just the one verse would be fine. In the end, seeing as I'd had no time to practise it anyway with everything else going on, I decided to write a second verse two nights before the weekend, in about 5 minutes, whilst happily whacked out on cold meds. I believe this probably shows:

Tune: Monk's Gate by R Vaughan-Williams. Original title: To Be A Pilgrim/He Who Would Valiant Be.

We who would virtuous be
Leave smut behind us
Hereby learn decency
With sore reminders.
To Darling’s we are sent
Our tawdriness repent
It is our one intent
To be a lady.

With our exquisite poise
We’ll draw attention.
Those who cavort with boys
Land in detention.
Our tutors we’ll obey
No matter what they say.
There is no better way
To be a lady

Ah yes. One of the highlights (one of MANY, granted) of the weekend was Mrs Darling informing the girls at the first assembly that they had to learn it by heart for the next day, and then the utter shock that they actually had done. Emma-Jane and Adele have both blogged about the sudden realisation during breakfast preparations and consequent impromptu rehearsal - the sound of which brought a couple of girls running through the castle, thinking they were late for assembly. *grin*

In the next update, the essential - and frankly brilliant, according to the recipients of the verbal version- account of the logistics of getting 10 girls from airport/station to remote lochside castle, in character, having never met half of them and trying to ensure I didn't get arrested for abduction. Hum te tum...

News

2010-11-24T00:48:00.004Z

I love the angle of Leia-Ann's legs in this picture. It's terrific. This is from a new set this week on Northern Spanking called "Little Sailor Girl" and features the endless legs and gorgeous figure of Leia-Ann getting thoroughly beaten with a strap. You get 10 points for working out who wrote the story blurb for the set. ;)

Well. In the new year I shall be heading a new F/m site called the Institute of Feminine Discipline. I shall give you all a heads up when it goes live, but in the meantime, I shall share some preview pics with you:

Mmm, mouth-soaping!

Poised with the next weapon of doom!

Dealing with David.

Ah, the hairbrush. Rapidly turning into a favourite implement for me to use - there's something very devastating about it.

To be fair, this strap is also devastating, but at least its primary purpose is clearly for discipline, unlike the brush, which could just be innocuous.

Ah yes. I made my debut on Deadly Females very recently, after a wicked shoot with them in which I choked and squashed their models, who hadn't been told that I train in martial arts. Nice surprise for them there! Heh heh... Looking forwards to shooting with them again, and hopefully doing more wrestling/facesitting stuff with other companies in the new year. Hurrah!

Session updates briefly:

I've been doing several brill double domme sessions recently - a few with Miss Jessica Wood, so if you think you can handle it, check out that page on her site and book through her - though you will need to wait until next year now as she's away on tour until the new year. Alright for some!

December will be crazy, so book as soon as you have a date - I am presently still taking bookings for the 2nd to the 19th and have some v limited (and very rare) Central London time available on the 10th in the afternoon/early evening. Get in touch asap via My Site if you are interested in that day.

Hmm, that'll do for now. ;)

Clare Fonda

2010-10-27T17:29:00.004+01:00

Shot some new material with Clare for Spanked Call Girls a couple of months ago. In one of the sets I got to spank a super pretty adult model, Riley - such a chore...

Clare's cameraman expressed quite an interest in the bag I arrived with. It was fairly warm in LA that day and I really didn't want to be dragging a suitcase around when I knew what outfits I would probably use, so I just crammed my things into my overnight bag.
Riley turned up with a huge suitcase full of loads of clothes, but no full panties - and we all know that any spanking model always carries at least twice as many pairs of those as she needs, so I lent her a pair of mine.
You can see his behind the scenes account of this - with pictures of said bag- here - I just found it today, and it was a nice reminder. I do miss LA dreadfully...

Quickie

2010-08-26T01:41:00.002+01:00

I am off to the States soonish, but really wanted to share the trailer for the super sexy film called Resisting Temptation on Northern Spanking, as I just found the preview on Spanking Tube:

Fun down on the Northern Spanking Farm...

2010-08-12T23:09:00.007+01:00

It's been a while since I showed off some of the more recent Northern Spanking updates, so here is a little selection of some of my favourites from the last month or so.

Just how shameful and vulnerable does Pandora look in this? Having to lift her skirt for her punishment, and knowing she's going to have to get undressed for a hard caning. Lovely!

Poor girl. I'd say I feel sorry for her. But I'd be lying... ;)

This week we've welcomed yet another American starlet into our midst - Zille came over here and of course couldn't resist working for Northern Spanking while she was at it - and we're very glad the kinky little minx did!

What a bum! Rarrgh! *ahem* Moving swiftly on before I disgrace myself...

Ahhh... hard wooden paddle on a nurse. In the bathroom. Why not? I mean; I know some of us are statistically more likely to find a hot girl in a nurse's outfit and stockings hanging about in the bathroom, but surely it happens to non-pr0n people too. No? Ah well. Thank goodness we documented the event in photographs!

For some reason this was one of those sets where without consulting each other beforehand, Nimue and I ended up both in glasses and stockings. I quite like the specs - I have shoots where I entirely forget I own any, and then others where I'll do every other set in g33k-chic goodness. Thankfully it doesn't affect my aim either way, so it can just be down to personal preference for the viewer.

Ooh, ooh -

Guess the bottom?!
Hurrah hurrah it's the lovely Andi, and a proper sexy/scary Judicial punishment caning based on a true story of 2 girls caught acting as drugs mules.

Leia-Ann also gets caught and due to the larger amount she has smuggled, she is also subjected to bastinado. With a savage cane. Ouch.

Rather her than me.

Just to show we're also quite nice to her at Northern (sometimes) - here's a final couple from a set in which I spank her for sexy fun and then... quelle surprise... TEH LESBIANZ ACTION begins.

Where's Stephen Lewis when you need him to break up a set?

In the bloody toilet, eh? Come on Ste-Lo, there's girly action to intervene in!

Quick summer availability update

2010-06-20T19:39:00.006+01:00

Apologies to those who have been desperately trying to get a session with me in the last 6 weeks or so - my availability has been quite tricky. However dates I definitely still have space on are the 23rd, 28th and 29th June in London, and, just for gentlemen I have already met, I have a couple of actual GLASGOW slots on the 25th and 26th!

Obviously as these are all in the next week or so, you need to get in touch fairly swiftly if you'd like to try and arrange something. Email me if you've something in mind: amy(AT)hellomisshunter.com

(I'm just going to stick a Robo-pr0n shot in there for the hell of it. Doesn't everyone do 70s-style sleaze Roomba scenarios? Oh...)

And, as you may have seen from Hello, Miss Hunter I am doing a day of double sessions with Miss Jessica in Watford on the 24th of July. See Miss Jessica's page for more information.

Enjoy the new pics. Finally got some proper brunette ones on the go, eh? Only been 6 months!

Told you so

2010-05-24T13:11:00.003+01:00

I said I'd make a post sooner than normal...

Here are some of the pics I found saved on my computer last week, from back a couple of years in the Northern Spanking archives, which particularly caught my eye.

Is this not just gorgeous? And summery? (how apt, given today's temperatures) It's the delectable Sascha Harvey, who - everyone will be delighted to hear - is returning to the scene from July! Hurrah!

Miss Emma-Jay Joyce sporting a very red bottom and a lovely 8 strap suspender belt.

Awesome. The super pretty Jadie Reece in what was one of the first shoots in the new Northern Spanking uniform. Which I'm sure you all noticed, and not the lovely upskirt shot. ;)

Rhiannon Diablo looking hellishly abusable. Though in this picture she's just about to start some rather intimate relations with Leia-Ann Woods so perhaps I should leave her to it rather than drag her off to torture...

And finally for now (until I come across another folder of pics) - the incredible cheerleader form of Syra Garcia, looking wonderfully coy, and a very young-looking Stephen Lewis. I'm sure he wasn't actually 26 when this was shot, but I could be wrong...

As usual, all the above and the sets they came from are available at Northern Spanking.

In other news, there is now a bit of blurb at Hello Miss Hunter.

Now go and enjoy the weather!

The things you find on your computer...

2010-05-17T00:20:00.009+01:00

I keep finding random JPEGs that I've saved as "BLOG" or "Aprilblog" or somesuch which I presume I was keeping to pop in to a post.
Now as we know, the updates on here are not frequent - there's several reasons for that, some more obvious than others (insert obligatory SQUEE about my beautiful nephew. Well done Lucy and Paul!!) - so I'm going to try and stick a few of these random pics in a post for you just now, despite hideous early start tomorrow. Am I not benevolent?

Firstly, one that is not from a spanking site, but rather from the album of one of my favourite bands of all time, Rammstein, who are known for their slightly, shall we say, risque songs and videos. Their video for Sonne from their 2001 album, Mutter famously features Snow White spanking her minion dwarves, played by the band.
You must have seen it. If not - you can never have too much Rammstein, believe me - go check it out.

Anyway. Many of the lyrics from various albums allude to S&M and the rather more visceral, dare-we-say-it kinky side of sex. My current theme tune (and no, you may not steal it for yourself) is Ich tu dir weh - I hurt you. Have a snippet of lyrics:
Bisse Tritte harte Schläge/ Nadeln Zangen stumpfe Säge/ Wünsch dir was ich sag nicht nein/ Und führ dir Nagetiere ein/
Ich tu dir weh/ Tut mir nicht leid/ Das tut dir gut/ Hör wie es schreit

What do you mean, you don't speak German? Sheesh.

(Bites, kicks, hard blows / Needles, pliers, dull saw /Make a wish, I won't say no /And I'll insert the rodents into you/ I hurt you
/ I'm not sorry /It does you good /Listen to it scream)

Hmmm. Sorry. Lost in reverie for a second there. Anyway. Rammstein's current album is Liebe ist für alle da and both the song quoted above and one of the more provocative pictures from the ridiculously beautiful album artwork have been placed on The Index in Germany.

As I got the online version of the album (and the special edition, with a pre-ordered bonus track. Om nom nom nom...) I got the pdf version of the artwork. So have a pretty spanking picture. (Unless you're a German youth. In which case stop reading this right now, you scamp!)

Mmmm, coalhouse, sacks over heads, grubby knees... *ahem*

Where was I?

Oh. Yes. Random pictures.

There's more "vintage" Northern Spanking fare kicking about from my site admin fun. By "vintage", I mean from a few years ago, rather than Blushes scans (although as members will have seen, there have already been a couple of sets on the site which are updated, high quality versions of some of the classic Blushes magazine sets. I'll probably do a separate post about this as otherwise I'll never get to bed...)

Throwing Leia-Ann Woods over your shoulder to spank - what could possibly go wrong? ;p

Sexy stable antics with Leia-Ann and the legendary Kara-Jayne:

Just look how innocent Jadie Reece looks here. Makes me want to violate her terribly. ;)

Another of Northern Spanking's now-retired legends, Niki Flynn, sporting a fetching buttplug...

Hmmmm... I have a few more of the choicest older pictures to share, but given that it is after 1am now I think I shall leave it for another post - but sooner than normal, fret not. ;)

I never claimed to be a regular blogger...

2010-02-21T00:01:00.007Z

So far this year I have been really quite busy with odds and ends - no shoots so far this year though, which saddens me; I like shooting.

As you will see from my profile at Dommes.co.uk I am no longer blonde.
This has been a great experiment in social perceptions, and I've been proved right over a couple of things (including guessing who hates it and wants it back blonde again) and also completely wrong.
Fret not, I'm still the same vapid bimbo underneath. ;)

Rather like Miss Rutherford, I too am presently doing more administrative site work, which currently consists of creating detailed search functions for every gallery on Northern Spanking since it began. (This being for the famed "New" site re-launch in a few months. So that now if you want to find a very specific set with a nurse bent over a desk being hit by a crop, or Morgan in stockings doing cornertime after being paddled and caned, or girls being spanked for doing dirty dirty things, then you can. You're welcome.)

Of course, having to go through every set has quite major disadvantages. Chief of which is the fact that there is some HOT old material on the site. I mean, seriously distracting:

Oh, you want spanking pictures and not just ones that push my buttons? Spoilsports. How about spanking pictures that push my buttons?

Look at Adele's face. I love the holding hands. Ahhhhh...

I love this one just for the sheer distress. Hurray Sadist! ;D

Look, look! I used to be young and lithe and everything!

Sam Johnson's legendary bottom hasn't aged at all, however. Even despite being pummelled in this schoolgirl set.

If in doubt, resort to Schoolgirls. The more the better. At the same time.

I think that was our reasoning behind this set, anyway... ;)

It's incredible watching the photography quality at Northern Spanking improve over the years. The pics above are excellent, and very very good for when they were shot, but if you compare them to now, it's quite different.

Even if we're recreating the incomparable "Blushes" style shoots.

Or just telling a terrific story through a photoset.

Or just showing off pretty, well-spanked bottoms.

These last three pictures are all taken from Northern's new promo site:Scottish Spanking, which is where you can go directly to our Clips 4 Sale page and purchase single films or single scenes.

Don't say we're not good to you.

Right. Off to trawl through some more sets. Adios...

Festive-mass

2009-12-30T19:07:00.007Z

Isn't it strange/hideous how each year just seems to go faster?

I've barely noticed December happening, and now it's over. Goodness.

Here. Have some fairy light porn:

What do you mean, Pandora already did that? Pfff... No pleasing some people...

Shush. It may not be as pretty and nekkid as P's, but it's festive and it's bondage. What more do you want? Oh. Actual content? Rats... Here goes then:

Those of you following my Twitter over to the right will have noticed a mad influx of Strictly Come Spanking promo posts before Christmas.
This was long-awaited from Northern Spanking - possibly longer than Wheatley Manor - and really didn't disappoint. Actually, despite us being slightly concerned about the lack of spanking in it, there ended up being more than I thought there was going to be, and a few incidences of spanking upon myself, which wasn't in the script.

(Stills from the film stolen shamelessly from Pandora and Brush Strokes because I don't have Quicktime Pro. ;p)

Yes, we did indeed not only attempt to recreate the TV prog (Dancing With The Stars, for my Stateside readers) but we succeeded. One of the funniest things about it was the fact that the majority of the cast - myself included - had never seen the show, so were reliant on writers Stephen "MoHMOTI" Lewis and Lucy McLean to describe to us who we were meant to be parodying.

Our judges panel featured a prim English lady who speaks in metaphors, a bitchy camp guy, and an effusive, possibly-on-drugs foreigner. *ahem*

The Couples:

Syra & Paul

Leia-Ann & Stephen

and Amelia-Jane & Hywel

... oh, and a blonde, attention-seeking female presenter, Tess Twice-Daily. And we do indeed invite the Beeb to sue. ;p

Part of the sheer hilarity of the whole film is that we have ad breaks with infomercials created by not only the cast of the film (several months after we forgot about the great ideas we had for it at the time) but also other scene folk such as Irelynn Logeen and Tony and Eve from Shadowlane - so the whole thing is, once again, an epic of folk doing stuff for a fabulous Northern Spanking film out of the sheer love for what we do.

My infomercial was... well... you'll just need to see it to believe it. All I can say is that I wrote and filmed it during a particularly dark week, so am not responsible for any mental scarring brought about. ;)

We filmed it so that there would be a choice of who won - voted for by you, dearest public. It went to a vote, and... the winners.... of Strictly Come Spanking 2009..... are....

You'll just need to watch it and find out, eh?!

Heh!

In all seriousness, not only has it made us laugh like fools, but also folk who'd never seen it either - Pandora's review of the first two parts was a treat - and also, apparently, vanilla wives (Thanks for the tweet, @RogerWilcox, it made us smile a lot!!) - I now have the DVD version, which contains the outtakes. All 30 minutes of them. As I'm feeling once again a little maudlin, I think I may be sticking them on once I've finished this epic blog.
Yes, I know it needn't be as long if I updated more often, ok?! :D

In other words: Buy it. Love it. Thanks If it helps, I get spanked as three different people in it. None of them Amy. My shrink bill will be through the roof someday.

In other Northern Spanking Fun, we have a film I shot a little while ago as a pushy Avon Lady, telling Stee-Lew MoHMOTI to embrace his metrosexuality:

And a debut from new girl to Northern Rachel Foster, who we worked with in April, on the shoot the day after the famed Car crash

Behold my lack of neck brace - astonishing what photoshop can do, eh?

Finally for this year, a lovely set called "Sit there and listen" featuring the lovely Caroline Grey and Kali Redmond as sisters made to listen to the other being punished. I love the pic of Caroline anxiously waiting while you can see in the next room Kali being bent over. It's phenomenal.
Bravo, Northern Spanking!!

Right. Anything else before I go into hiding for New Year? Oh yes - I've set up a profile on Dommes.co.uk so check that out if you are feeling that way inclined.

*Exits on a whirlwind of frozen yoghurt and ribena*

Women and elephants never forget an injury...

2009-11-18T21:42:00.006Z

As many of you will know thanks to Twitter over there >, I managed to destroy my ankle on Saturday.
For those who have asked: I sprang off a high kerb to cross the road, and couldn't see the ground I was landing on due to the awesome combination of everyone's friend The Winter Sun and the fact the infernal rains had just gotten going, creating a pretty, "blinding mirror" effect.
It appears that the tarmac I couldn't see was a bit less flat than I was expecting, and so as I landed, (on my left foot) everything buckled and my fibula decided it would quite like to escape the confines of its normal habitat.
Thankfully the bugger didn't come leaping through my ankle, though, as you see from some of the bruises, it made a bit of an attempt.

Having felt what I realised within a nanosecond was Not Good Sensation, I remembered I was sort-of standing in the middle of a main road near Euston, and was shortly to be mown down by a herd of black cabs, who doubtless had found my extra-bendy-leg skills quite enthralling, as they'd at least allowed me the time to lift my head and ascertain how far away the other side of the road was.
I tried to walk it off for the 100 metres or so I still had to go before my destination. About 10 metres in it was pretty apparent that this wasn't going to be walked off. Or even walked on. By the time I arrived and met a colleague at the front door, I was plummeting into shock, and I had time to tell him what had happened and inform him I was going to start crying in 6 seconds, then everything got a bit more panicky and frantic. I then spent all day being iced with my leg up on a table, being occasionally called-on for my opinion. Ha. My journey home was, um, different: had I still been living in Scotland, I would have gotten a taxi, or called one of my mates to come and grab me. This doesn't happen in the centre of London. The more lucid of my colleagues suggested a route that wouldn't involve much walking, but would take 2 hours instead of 45 minutes. Whoop. And then I couldn't get my boot back on due to having an actual elephant's foot attached to my calf, so I had to "walk" to the bus stop/tube/etc in my sock. Through the many puddles. I looked like I'd been drinking Saturday afternoon cocktails and mislaid my shoe. I wasn't even wearing heels, ffs.
Ruin. Disaster. Shame.
The following day I was also contractually required to be doing things, so I still dragged myself into town with the aid of many drugs and lots of bandages. I don't remember a great deal about Sunday. Since then it's been just about constant RICE-ing and arnica. Which reminds me... Must get some more on the go.

I've been noticeably more stubborn about "taking" body pain since I started martial arts. It's quite a different approach to how I would go about, say, the Spanking Server/Pain 4 Fem Shoot.
It's partially a bravado thing - as one of the lads, I can't let the side down by indicating in any way that it hurts. (Not that I don't utilise the "Oh, you hurt the poor girl! She's curled up in pain and squeaking." card during fights if I feel I need to fight dirty that way. Nothing like a quick stab of guilt to distract a male opponent. It's underhand and smacks a wee bit of Boy Who Cried Wolf. But I only do it if it genuinely hurt. ;p) But it's very much also a Mind Over Matter issue - which I had plenty of before, don't get me wrong. It's not like I've ever lacked guts - but now it's more automatic.
If Sensei pulls me up for a demonstration which I know is going to involve a black-out blow to the neck, or something that's really going to be nasty, I still offer myself up. I suppose it's verging on a trust thing, although it's actually not quite like that.
And no, this isn't me suddenly having a submissive epiphany. I'm afraid that's not going to happen.;)

Hmm. Anyway. Short story - Amy is going stir-crazy due to lack of physical exercise. It's not even been a week. I start physio tomorrow, so hopefully that'll help speed things up.

Right. Enough about my nth disaster of the year (and yes, the less said about that the better. It's almost working out as a monthly thing. Like a pissed-off, spikey period with a hand grenade.) - BRING ON THE ~~TRUMPETS~~ PORN.

One of the main reasons I HEART Northern Spanking is the sheer variety they shoot. Yes, I'm biased. Very heavily biased. But I'm also very truthful.
From cheesecake (in both senses, actually) to severe schoolgirl canings, and bedtime slippering summons to coquettish spankee-initiated sexy romps - they do actually have it all.
Well. Except maybe Amelia-Jane Rutherford in a sheer bodysuit. They don't have t...
Ah HA! Foiled. Yes, yes they do.

I majorly heart AJR on many levels. She's like the embodiment of glittery kittens tap-dancing over a rainbow. Here NSI directed her to "do cheesecake", and she manages to not only do this, but also look darn sexy at the same time. What trickery is this, Rutherford?!

Another set I've been enjoying over the last month has been Pandora's "Enter The Library", which I keep subconsciously substituting with "dragon", of course, and then trying to stifle the emerging spanking spoof that starts springing to mind. Yet another reason myself and Mr Stephen Lewis are not allowed to be in the same room.

The setting is gorgeous for this, and the antique ruler and "Secretary" feel is hawt:

Northern even got her to read her notes back to him. Rarrrrrr.... ;)

And I can't let a blog go by without pointing out that we got Bailey to shoot for us while we were in Vegas. (Erica Scott and Sarah Gregory too. The Stateside Superstars. ;D)

Ah, just who could spank such a sweetie?!
We all know who... the Most Hated Man On The Internet. (I might acronym that up to MoHMOTI, Stee-Lew. Except it sounds a bit too much like Marmot. You see what you've started?)
Gah!
The Girl! She is Being Spanked! Natural Order is Restored!

(All of the above taken from Northern Spanking)

Goodness, I'm writing like Bret Easton Ellis on popping candy tonight. I think I've had too much arnica.

Just before I go this evening - over at Pain 4 Fem via Spanking Server they've released a compilation DVD of 'The Spanking Machine 4" which features the (frankly scary) machine being used on myself, Pandora, and two other girls - Lucky (or not) and El.
My episode is my bottom being punished;

Pandora's is the one where she had her breasts whipped. Which was hot as hell, from a close-viewing perspective.

Youch.

But yes, if you're curious about the machine then check it out. It's pretty unique. And savage.

Right. Time for more painkillers. Bye for now...

x

Narrrrrcissist

2009-10-17T22:54:00.002+01:00

My sleep patterns are all to cock this week due to erratic working hours and general RL screw-ups. As of this second I'm not even sure where my "spanking" phone is - I've literally been glued to the "RL Amy" phone, which heralds far fewer exciting prospects, even if it is an iPhone.
I sometimes envy these characters I make up in films for their general lack of responsibility. Only sometimes, mind. ;)

I spent much of the former part of the week involved in non-pr0n (and therefore, sekrit) film shenanigans, which - as much as I love it - I find quite tricky to sit back and let people do my make-up/adjust bits of me/fetch me refreshments/re-set props etc, as I'm so used to doing it for myself.
(NB; this is not, I repeat, not an indication that I don't occasionally like to be waited on and send chain-clad slaves scuttling to fetch me a nice Kahlua on ice. That is generally welcome. A foot rub wouldn't go amiss either.)

Anyway... in lieu of the above I have a glass of Ribena and new sheepskin boots (that are actually better than Uggs and half the price. Yup, those of us from The North are awfully obsessive about getting a decent deal. So I hear!) so in that luxurious setting why not have some pics released on Spanking Server this week?

You know it took me a few moments to work out which panties those were when I saw that picture. Normally I've been known to recall which panties I wore in sets shot 3 years ago with relative ease, but those ones threw me a bit as they're a different pattern on the front.

I'm not sure I ever posted this pic, but I quite like it - from a different set at Spanking Server, obviously.

Oh, ok. It can't all be me, can it? That would just be tedious. Besides; we've had a new model go up over at Northern Spanking so I have to share her, don't I?!

Meet Nimue. She's a popular UK fetish model who joined us on our Yorkshire shoot earlier in the year. I had the very great delight of punishing her more than once, and she's another regular on Twitter if you're not already following her.

What do you mean, you want to see her face? I thought you only loved us for our rears! Oh, alright then... How about pretty face and cleavage? Does that work?

Northern put up a real treat for pyjama lovers recently.
Here is what Paul had to say about the incident:
Some of you may remember that, not so long ago, I had no option but to give young Kali a very sore smacked bottom. I had hoped that was the end of the matter when I sent her, well-smacked, to bed without supper.

During the course of the evening I received, by means of the telephone, further disturbing news of Kali's misbehaviour in the village. It was necessary therefore and, with some regret, to visit Kali in her room and administer another smacked bottom and a firm dose of the strap to her pyjama clad behind. Some minor cheek during the punishment forced me to bare Kali's now no doubt extremely sore bottom, for the rest of her punishment.

I have the feeling Kali will be sleeping on her tummy tonight.

I love both of these pics. The position and the pyjamas are both great.

And I know I haven't really shown lovely Kali's face, but if you're intrigued to see how she reacts facially then head over to N.S.I

Another set that caught my eye on Northern recently was Kami's latest; Suspended and Spanked:

There's several of this lovely angle, which shows the awesome socks and uniform. I'm sure you'll agree it's aesthetically pleasing on several levels. Not least thanks to Stephen Lewis, hand model extraordinaire, who has also recently started to Twitter. (If you haven't already, then follow me at Hello Miss Hunter - from there you can find many of your favourite spanking scene folk. And lots of porn stars. Whatever floats your boat...)

Actually, the above link contains one of my new pictures as the background, so go and check it out - I quite like it. From the same set, here's another to bid you a goodnight:

Random quick update

2009-09-23T14:27:00.004+01:00

I'm on the front page of Strict Women just now. Go take a look!

(and no, I'm not actually spanking *my* father. I think Lucy would be a bit miffed about that, at the very least... ;p )

Scratch that, it's changed now. Ah well, till the next time...

I've shot for Strict Women rather more recently than that video anyway - just a couple of weeks ago, in fact - but the material isn't available just yet. Pity, as there was a terrific tawse and cane vid amongst others!

Here's a pic of some people you may recognise though - and yes, unusually for this shoot we had guests round from Northern Spanking and also Bars and Stripes - neither Paul nor the Guv offered up bottoms for my warm-up strokes though. Spoilsports... You won't have seen the gorgeous girly on the left though, who is Miss Zoe's sister, and to whom I gave her first EVER spanking. On video. Ohhhhh yes. I'll link to that when it goes up, that's for sure....

Egads, it's September!

2009-09-01T11:49:00.008+01:00

Well, as those of you who follow me on Twitter will know, I've been fairly busy with all sorts of life issues. Those of you who have actually seen me (and kudos, 'cause I've not been easy to catch) know more of the details, but suffice to say it's been a slightly rocky month or two.

The first of September rolls around (yet again - off go the bloody swallows!) and it's back to school with a bump.

Unless you're Kami Robertson. In which case, it's back to school - and immediately expelled - with a bump in the shape of a nasty looking caning -the Northern Spanking Institute is not tolerant of wicked ways and depravity in uniform, so a freshly expelled and shamed Kami is sent home, and promptly receives the thrashing of her life there. I love this pic of the results:

Meanwhile, some of our girls - shock horror - actually enjoy their punishments. God Forbid, eh, Daily Heil?
Here we have the ridiculously sexy Katja in her Northern Spanking debut, being slowly peeled out of her tight jodphurs by none other than the divine Andi Switch for a sensual cropping and OTK spanking.

When "Girls' Night In" was released over on Northern, one of the members - who declined to identify themselves - chose to comment with a highly constructive "yawn".
Now then:
Quite aside from the fact that he was too pussy to leave a name, (and yes, we can see from which account comments are left, kittens) I have a slight issue with people who do this. Especially repeat offenders.

Firstly - it's a film featuring three of the hottest models about, in sexy underwear.

Secondly - there is the ubiquitous girly action that section 4.36 of the NSI Filming Mandate invokes: ...should a film contain both Leia-Ann Woods and Jadie Reece, it is required that lesbian acts are undertaken on no less than 80% of that material. Failure to adhere to this guideline will result in DOOM and retention of cheesecake...

Thirdly - We're ~~all~~ mostly mature enough to accept that Not Everyone Is Going To Like Every Scenario. Some of us at NSI feel like peeling our eyeballs rather than do another quivering schoolgirl video, but we still do them, because we like to have some of the best variety around. You name it, we've probably done it. This includes Schoolgirls in Space, so yes, we've covered that base. ;)

Fourthly -If you feel the need to vociferously condemn a film/photoset, then why not try making it constructive? Rather than "yawn", why not try "I felt this set was a bit too same-y/slow-moving/disjointed/vomit-inducing/focussed on knees. I would love to see more boobs/knees/crash zooms/cake/build-up/raptors. Thanks for working your butts off thus far, NSI, I know just how much hard work it is trying to please everyone. I am sending chocolate as I speak. Yours in spanking-awe, A. Member."

I think I had a "fifthly", but the last paragraph pretty much erased it from my head. Oh dear. On to a couple of pics - these are both candid shots from the set, taken by one of our photography experts, Billy. I love them, so I'm sharing them here rather than using the official stills from the film - you can see them all on the site though.

Harrumph. Now that's out of the way, I wanted to pilfer and share a picture from Mistress Switch's blog, because I love it.
We had a fabulous party with her a couple of weeks ago, at which the very sexy Erin Best made her scene debut (look out for more of this stunning girl, as we at Northern are going to kidnap her!) and we were joined at the end by none other than Cassie Hunter who delighted us with her caning. I'd been wanting to meet "the other Hunter" for some time, so to get to cane alongside her was a thrill. I hope to work with her again soon. ;)

l-r: Leia Ann Woods, Cassie Hunter, Andi Switch, Jadie Reece, Erin Best, Nicole Reina and Moi.

Finally for today, an album launch preview:

If you thought the stars from Northern were only skilled at bending over, you'd be wrong...

If in doubt, resort to Nekkid.

2009-07-20T01:26:00.005+01:00

I can't believe no-one has commented on the last post yet! What is wrong with you?! I spent minutes on that, MINUTES!

Pandora recently set a challenge of sorts, to recreate the Vilena pose as a kind of spanking model meme.

You can see her attempts on her post. This is my "midnight after a crazy day on 3 hour's sleep" attempt. Yeah yeah, red eye - like you're looking at that!

Don't say I'm not good to you. Sometimes. ;)

...I think she thought "bukkake" was what the army librarians wear...

2009-07-17T01:41:00.006+01:00

As I was dashing through ~~the snow~~ Paddington Station today, I saw a poster that made me GUFFAW. So I obviously stopped and took a quick picture of it to share its sheer wisdom and insight. ;)

*preens*

ETA:

Screw it, why stop at the painting?!

Much better!

And then they made me their king

2009-07-09T21:35:00.009+01:00

Now you see; with the whole Twitter thing, it's much easier for me to update things. However, it does rather mean that you don't get any lovely pictures, like this from Northern Spanking:

This is from Remedial ClAss, one of our HD films. Lucy asked for some help with the title, as the script/concept was entitled Div Kids, and we didn't think it was massively P.C. Not that we specialise in being particularly P.C... I banged out a few, including Sascha's Special. Remedial 'Ass. NSI School For The Gifted. Forrest Rump.Dunce Upon A Time. Bum and Bummer. (I should work in the headlines department at a tabloid, or something.) and clearly Lucy was inspired by one of them.

I just love that angle of leg kick and the flash of Leia-Ann's Panties. Lovely!

And another HD film in the last month from NSI! This is, of course, Zoe Montana with a freshly caned bottom, and is from the film "Corrective Surgery"

Also at Northern Spanking, a lovely stills set featuring two of my most favourite girls. Obviously my sister is one of them (she with-holds my chocolate if I say otherwise. AND locks me in the Amy-cupboard...) but whose delightful bottom is that under scrutiny?

Indeed. It could only belong to the brilliant Andi Switch!

I suppose a blog post should really have something of me on it, being massively narcissistic an' all.

How about a picture from our favourite bondage friends at Restrained Elegance?
This was my first suspension, and was an awful lot of fun.

I also got to work with the resident slavegirl there, Ariel Andersson - known more to the spanking community as Miss Amelia Jane Rutherford, of course. And whilst she's the slavegirl, she sometimes gets to tie up the other models, as you can see. It was a real chore, I can tell you. Especially when she looked mean and ripped my jacket open...

*ahem*

Anyway. I've been busy this month, although in more of a vanilla way. Haven't done a party now since April, so I'm quite keen to get back into the swing of things, for want of a better phrase.

I've started doing some martial arts training, needing an appropriate channel for violence and pain, and am perpetually nursing shin, foot, forearm and chest bruises at the moment. I'm also inflicting far more than my fair share though, on the blokes I spar with. I also successfully convinced a very vanilla fighter to take a decent stroke on his ass with an Escrima stick, which was basically a cane-density, short, broom handle. Rather like a particularly cruel Singapore, really.
The payoff? I had to do it with my top off. Ummm... because clearly thousands of people across the world haven't already seen my bra.
Only one stroke, but I made it count. The impact threw him forwards onto the bed, and the shock was such that he got through "Oh, actually that wasn't that ba..." before the pain hit him. Hum-te-tum! And what a lovely stripe! Virgin bottoms are far too much fun.

I'm hoping I don't get too tempted to repeat it in the Dojo - I'm already having enough trouble with the discipline/etiquette side of things, and Sensei is not someone I fancy insulting.
Although... grab a Bo and a few nifty knots, and this might be the result:

I'll maybe suggest it to them.

Boggle

2009-06-11T12:31:00.003+01:00

Just in case you were having problems showing up marks as distinctly as you build up a tolerance, why not try getting it inked on your ass forever?

Yeah. I saw a link to The Independent's Most Bizarre Tattoos on a body art forum I read, and as I found a PHIL tattoo (see link), felt compelled to immediately send it to Northern Spanking HQ

I don't even think that PHIL is my favourite out of those. It might be the Owl with Tits, actually.

Some highly naughty pictures from Sam Johnson's Birthday Party

2009-06-09T23:18:00.004+01:00

Ah yes. Some of the incriminating pictures have finally appeared. The legendary Sam Johnson and her equally legendary Limo party.

We'd just been caned here, in case you couldn't tell by the lines. We note Sam's fabulous pirate plaster. I am honestly not so much confused and slightly blotto as finding neck movement slightly limited. Thanks, Mr Whiplash.

Now here.... Here I am pretty much hammered. As is Johnson. I'm reasonably sure there were Quite A Lot of pictures taken at this point in time. I imagine that the members of Sam's Diaries are probably seeing a few more, as are the lucky boys from the party, who may well now have this kind of thing as their screensaver on their phones...

Or, perhaps, something from the Girl Sex incident. *ahem* Just how happy is the lucky boy we are making out on? I'll tell you: Extremely. (Said Lucky Boy is also happy to appear in pictures. We did check. Hell, who wouldn't be? ;p)
I particularly like the red laser beam on my face. It adds a certain Bladerunner feel to it. If, in fact, Bladerunner were actually a hyper-porno. I also especially like how Leia-Ann is clutching her champagne glass for dear life, just in case anyone would try to steal it.

There you go. Now those of you glued to the Twitter updates from the party have accompanying visuals. ;) Well. Some.

2009-05-31T22:37:00.007+01:00

A lovely person who comes to play with me sometimes, Mr M, commented in our fabulously fun session on Friday that I seem to only update immediately after he's come to see me.
Naturally, therefore, I felt compelled to leave it a couple of nights and see if it threw him. ;)

Yes, for those of you who asked, I made it round the 5K without death actually occurring. In fact, I did very nearly keel over in the last Kilometer due to various health issues, but carried on walking, and still finished in just under 30 mins, so presumably did the first 4K at a ridiculous pace. Nonetheless, I finished it with a sprint, and then spent 30 minutes trying to regain any feeling in my feet or ankles, which had gone completely numb. Handy!

So yes... Anyway. Last week I was lucky enough to shoot for the team at Strict Miss, and was actually quite delighted when my hapless victim turned up for one set wearing the most wonderful blue striped pyjamas.

It was like battering Andy Pandy. Wicked! (I never did like Andy Pandy. Can you tell? Suddenly a whole new idea has entered my bizarre little head for Looby Loo spanking Andy Pandy. I'm sure Northern Spanking would never even consider something like that though. It'd just be silly!...)

I obviously just gave him a gentle handspanking, for, as a woman, I am quite a wuss. I was actually being pretty nice in these - some of the films we made I was a bit less nice. Like in the short sharp shock kind of film of six of the best in which I was wearing the sort of outfit I couldn't even begin to think of wearing to actually go riding...

Seems to be pretty effective visually though!

In other World Domination Attempts, I've been on Spanking Server again recently, in a spanking from Peter over some cake. I think.

I love the pics they took of us. The lighting is just so different to everywhere else I've shot and gives both myself and Pandora eerie, uber-blue eyes.

After the experiences on the Spanking Machine, I was foolishly expecting a hand spanking might be a bit less intense, but as you can see, it was actually quite a hard one. Peter was giving it so hard in this clip that he ended up sweating buckets afterwards. I'm sure Ms Blake was delighted he was exhausted shortly before shooting her spanking clip! :D

It's a tricky business of concentrating, this modelling lark. ;)

I sometimes get asked if, as a model, I ever sit down to watch my films. The short answer is yes. I especially like to see ones from a little while ago that I've forgotten a little - I wrote recently about the hair flicking scene in Northern Spanking's Chemistry, but actually didn't watch the rest of the film.

It's... really quite something. It's not a punishment film, so those of you who want to see me sobbing and begging for mercy should go elsewhere, but it's one of the films in which I've done rather more erotic reactions, and is purposefully quite cheesy in places. I come out with lines that I didn't even know I knew. Genius.
It works though, and there's some gorgeous imagery.

Like that. Mmmm, ass. Oh, hang on, that's a bit narcissistic, isn't it?

In the same evening (Myself and my sister with vodka tonics and olives, if you must know. Laughing rather a lot) I watched a recent film, Maison Amelia. In a bid to obtain a stereotypical portrayal of an Essex hair salon, Lucy actually researched, and found that a frightening proportion of small town hairdressers in Essex have the prefix "Maison." I love it.

This film was also awesome in that long-suffering, most-hated-man-on-the-internet, George-Clooney-lookalike, Stephen Lewis, actually allowed a couple of spanking models to take pot-shot chunks out of his barnet. For real.

Brave or foolish. You decide...

After dealing with the ditzy do'-destroyer, Syra, (including using the spray to an inspired advantage!) Amelia offers to fix Mr Lewis' bonce with a fabulous directional cut. We're not sure which direction that would be...

Then of course the spankee of the year 2008 ( Officially ) gets her behind thoroughly tanned as well.

Right, that's your lot for now. We're getting so much sun here in London that I'm quite puddled, so sleep beckons.

xx

A pre-midnight update? Never!

2009-05-09T21:49:00.006+01:00

Yes, it appears that I am managing a brief blog update before the witching hour, for the first time in, well, a long time. (Although from having looked at the times on the last few, I've managed it quite a lot. I suspect much of this is that the time it publishes is the time you start, not the time you finish...)

The reason for this is that I am going to try and get some sleep soon, as I'm (highly inadvisably, I should add) running a charity 5K tomorrow morning.
No, this doesn't mean the whiplash is better yet. It's actually worse, but I think that's how these things work as you treat them - as the muscles get persuaded back to their proper places, the pain gets much more intense.

Anyway. Great idea, Amy...

I've never actually run 5K - when we did Bums on the Run a few years ago, there were so many folk injured that it mostly ended up being just walking. My original training plan was to work up to doing it, but then the crash put paid to that a little, and lost me any progress I'd made. So this week has been the first week back at trying to run, and it's pretty hideous.

Ah well. I'm sure they have ambulances on site. It'll be fine. I'm sure.

After my last entry talking about the Strict Women shoot, the guys were good enough to send me a few pics from the shoot, so here they are.

Wielding a big stick of doom. Obviously I wouldn't dream of using it. Oh no...

I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the rotator cuff and biceps of a pro-wrestler... (apologies, Liz)

I'm pleased to see that my film I made for Clare Fonda on Girl Spanks Girl is up - starring myself, Sarah Gregory, Andi Switch and the legendary Ms Fonda, it features lots of OTK hand and hairbrush spanking, and plenty of sore bottoms.

Here's some stills:

Clare laying on some serious spanking on my poor behind! She was such a blast to work with - and looked awesome in this dress!

Sarah and I doing some corner time, after our second spanking, this time from Andi.

The hairbrush - I thought I was going to get away with it, as Andi had broken her hairbrush on Sarah's bottom only minutes previously. Clare immediately offered the services of her Mason Pearson. Gee, thanks!

Of course, Clare wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to spank another new girl whilst in Vegas, so Andi got a good walloping too.

The film is called "Mothers and Daughters 09" and is online at Girl Spanks Girl now.
This was the shoot in which the security guard interrupted us mid-film to tell us that the downstairs neighbours had complained we were "jumping up and down or something." We didn't actually get to see him to invite him in to play, as Clare quickly secreted us all in a bedroom, but he sounded very sorry to have to relay this information to us, and added that "Hey man, it's Vegas in the day... do what you have to do..." So we continued filming, and just tried to remember to kick the floor less. Which, of course, meant that it happened about twice as often as normal. Jeeeez...

Finally, I just wanted to share a couple of pics of one of my favourite new models on Northern Spanking - Lottie - who has her film debut this week.
She's lovely and leggy, and super pretty to boot - look at those doe eyes!

And I think this may be one of my favourite posterior-pictures for some time. I don't know why. There's just something so delightful about the rucking of the knickers and the way she's standing.

Yummy!

Right, bed time.

x

On Laughter being the best medicine...

2009-04-21T01:08:00.005+01:00

(... apart from Tramadol, possibly... oh, and Calpol. Mmmm, Calpol. And Buttercup Syrup.)

Thank you all for your well wishes in comments, email and text form - very much appreciated. I am very much on the road to recovery and my caning shoulder/arm has not been affected adversely, you will all be doubtless delighted to hear. (I was also delighted to "hear" it. Swishing many times over the last few days... bwahaha...)

I just downloaded Chapter two of Northern Spanking's latest Celtic Corrections film, "Chemistry", and have probably now woken up the neighbours howling with laughter.

As you probably know, the Celtic Corrections series consists of longer length films, with quite significant plots. They're not nearly as epic as Wheatley Manor (more on that soon), but they're definitely longer than most other spanking/fetish films out there. I think I've posted pictures from some of the previous titles - Injustice, The Australian Governess and Student of Discipline.
In "Chemistry", I play a student who struggles with her lessons - or more aptly, her teacher - and receives a nasty spanking and tawsing for messing up a chemistry experiment. Her teacher informs her she will amount to nothing - at which we find her, 15 years later, leading the world in Chemical research.

I remember filming this quite vividly, but as it was a few years ago, I'd forgotten some of the details. Like the Timotei scene. Lucy already knew what she was going to do with it in post-production, but nothing prepared me for watching it. Especially watching Stephen's face throughout. Genius.

Oh, and there'll be plenty of spanking in Chapter two as well, in the next update.

But more erotic spanking, rather than the "punishment and weeping" spanking of Chapter one.

Something for everyone. Except maybe the Furries. Sorry, Furries. I thought I had an old picture there of me being spanked by Baloo the bear, but sadly with the new Hard Drive it's gone walkabout. I'm sure there'll be something appropriate soon...

This weekend I had another shoot with the naughty boys at Strict Women - another great day of being quite, quite wicked, and also a rather nice opportunity to tawse both Mike and Dave on their hands whilst they stood together. Such a chore, huh?! I'm sure I'll have pictures to show you at some point, but in the meantime, at the Fem Dom Spanking Blog there's a write-up of the shoot and some details of the previous films I've done with them, and this lovely fan-sign, complete with a cowering man at my feet, and my favourite cane in my hands - bliss! All I need now is a tray of sushi, some chocolate-dipped fruit, and a nice bottle of bubbly, and that's a pretty good night in! ;)

Oh bloody hell it's 2am again. Up the wooden hill!

Hmm

2009-04-11T00:07:00.003+01:00

Apologies for not being around much just now; en route to the Northern Spanking Shoot, I had a rather nasty motorway crash involving a left-hand-drive lorry and the Amy Car of Doom.
The ACoD lost, bizarrely enough, after being slammed across two lanes of the M1 into the central reservation. Major woe followed for the rest of the day. Amusingly, my first text to Lucy, about 30 minutes after it happened, read "Had crash on M1. Polish Lorry driver hit me and I went into central res. Will let you know asap how I'm getting to you. May involve trains. x"

Oddly enough, my sister's primary concern was not that I was going to be late for the shoot...

After a rather fraught 7 hours, I was back in London. Details of how this was achieved should probably not be shared too widely. Shock is a grand little invention.
Another 5 hours passed, and I was out of hospital, with a confirmed unbroken neck, lots and lots of excellent drugs, and two Whiplash guidebooks. FNARR.

I still went to the shoot though, albeit a day late. I'm not missing out on 4 new bottoms to play with.

We had an awful lot of fun, and some fabulous food on our post-shoot evenings out. Six of us may now be banned from an entire county in the UK, for crimes against fashion and/or distressing farmers, but we got some extremely awesome new material, which I may share with you at a later date.

Right. Back to sifting through insurance things and doing hourly neck exercises.

The utter glamour of being a top spanking model. Sheesh... ;)

(I incidentally apologise to those of you who have added me on either MySpace or Facebook. I have to juggle things like this a bit, and they do fall to the wayside a little. You're not missing much, honest - you probably get a lot more information from here!)

Somewhat tardy post-Vegas post.

2009-03-26T22:45:00.005Z

Ah yes. Sorry folks. Upon my return from Vegas it would appear that everything in the world is trying to pit itself against me, and it's taken this long to get things back on an even-enough keel to make a post. Lack of computer has been one of these reasons, and then when the supposedly repaired item was returned to my desperate clutches, Apple had managed to somehow mis-lay/delete several components of vaguely important programmes such as my browsers, and my modem. I think I've finally fixed it all now, but, my goodness, I won't be going back to that store...

Aaaaaanyway.

Here. Have a picture of pretty girls:

Yes, one of those pretty girls has a beard. We try not to talk about that.

There's a fabulous gallery up at Northern Spanking entitled "Adventures in Vegas", obscurely enough, where there's quite a lot of the goings-on captured. (Although it must be said that one of the batches I sent to Lucy was entitled "FYEO - not for public consumption", due to the sheer disaster-scale of the drunken last-night we managed...)

As most of you will know, I was already in the States prior to Shadowlane. The party was quite a last-minute decision in the grand scheme of things - I was shooting in Hawaii again at the end of February, and planned to do a little bit in LA before I left the country, to extend my time there and hopefully decrease the jet-lag. (ho ho!) Then I found out about Shadowlane: Brit Invasion, and realised it was just a couple of days after I'd planned to leave, and as I'd not booked my return flight yet, it seemed a bit churlish to pass up such an opportunity, given the practical spitting distance from LA.

While I stayed in LA, I got the chance to shoot with the legendary Chelsea Pfeiffer, and we had a blast playing crazy shopping girls, and a pretend biography dictation, and also one of the famous "Chelsea Spanks" sessions - 30 minutes of bum-beating!

Phew! I was quite relieved on the plane over to LAX that I had two seats to myself to crash out on!

I arrived in the small hours to the hotel and snuck into the room that I was under the impression contained Leia-Ann Woods and proceeded to try and remove make-up, clean teeth, get into bed without disturbing the sleeping figure in the other bed, who had mumbled a very sleepy "Heyyy..." when I got in, then gone back to sleep.
Imagine, therefore, my surprise the next morning when Lucy and Paul knocked on the door (at some bloody ridiculous hour. You'd think my own sodding sister would know the Never Disturb Amy Earlier Than Strictly Necessary rule, really...!) and "Leia" jumped up to answer it sporting a pair of jebs that could knock someone out.
Yup, it was Jadie. So that was a fabulous surprise, if a bit confusing for a few moments.
Needless to say, having a "roomie" for a change was quite exciting. If by "exciting", you mean "debauched."

*ahem*

WHIVSIV. :)

You will note the prominent feature of the Margarita in the above picture. Yes, there are inanimate objects in it, look down a bit.
From the first night, we pretty much set up our refreshment tent in the hallowed halls of St. TGI's, school for errant boys and girls. Because we obviously don't have any of those in the UK, eh? *headdesk*
I discovered part of the reason we were drawn to the heady scent of tequila and over-happy staff:

Yup, clearly a spanko establishment.

Aaaanyway. Friday night was the vendors' fayre, and caught me in a quite horrendous mood, having been to the gym in the morning with no breakfast, then coming back to my room and managing to get distracted with hair/shower things and not eat at all. (know this: rule number one is that Amy Must Eat or Bad Things Happen. It's like Gremlins, but backwards. Snilmerg, if you will.)
Jadie returned from her fabulous helicopter trip high as a kite, and found me curling my hair and chattering to myself with a shaking arm, and threw me the room service menu. Clever girl. OK, so I only ordered a fruit plate even then, but it was American Portions, and so contained half a greengrocers. Sweet...

Lucy then popped by to ask if I'd do her hair, and we all went along to her room to doctor the green Wheatley Manor tee-shirts as best we could. I nipped back to my room to grab something, and couldn't get in.
Thinking I'd picked up our spare key, I went back and got Jadie's to use instead. And again, it didn't work.
Hmmm... After some awf'ly patronising assistance from a passing gentleman (Now really. I know I'm a woman, and I'm blonde, and that my brain is mostly there to distinguish between colours of nail polish, but I do spend quite a bit of time in hotels across the world, so the whole "Insert key card and withdraw slowly" thing isn't the most overwhelming technology I've encountered. Sorry.) I stomped down to reception barefoot, and got them to sort the keys out. Except they wanted ID.
I eventually got the point across that all my worldly belongings were currently locked in the room, and was given two new keys and a bollocking from the security guard for not wearing shoes. Again with the "locked in room" thing, love.

Back up in the jaw-droppingly slow lifts to the room, during which I created some Amber and watched the Grand Canyon being formed at live-speed, I was not even actually that surprised to find neither key working. After calling the front desk from Lucy's room (I'd have probably grown 2 foot of hair in the time the lifts would have taken) I waited several ~~hundred years~~ minutes for security to come and let me into the room, where both myself and Jadie stayed for the next hour and a quarter- with 3 phone calls to the front desk, and one porter with more non-working keys - essentially locked in our room.
Apt for a spanking convention, yes, but not very conducive to manning the Northern Spanking stall and launching Wheatley Manor.
When we eventually got up there - sans keys, by the way. They replaced the lock in the end, and we had to go and collect the keys after the fayre - we were both gasping for a drink, and I was ready to kill. Thankfully there was a nicely flowing bar there. And food. Which wasn't fruit.

We'd tried to watch all of the 2 hours and 51 minutes of Wheatley the previous night, so those of us who hadn't seen it would be able to discuss intelligently the finer points of the plot. Sadly it was so late we only got through the first half - which was brilliant to see still, especially for myself and Leia-Ann, who are in it, but didn't really know how it was going to turn out, as we filmed several bits out of context, like a mainstream film.
We had the film playing on a laptop at the stall, and by the second disk, there was a veritable audience standing a small distance away, watching a rather sexy scene - and several fayre-goers completely oblivious to their blockage of the tiny screen as they perused our DVD selection!

(I did managed to watch the rest after the party, and was struck by it. I'll be making a post before its release on Northern Spanking as I don't think I can really fit it in here. It does have one of the hottest scenes I've ever seen, and also some pretty fiery girly action, so WHOO!)

Another night in TGI's ensued, with myself and Lucy on particularly naughty form, especially in toilets. Toilets of the Ninja variety. Don't ask.

The next day, after our highly random suite party, (which started off so promisingly as a serious British School Punishment scenario and suddenly descended into Carry On Northern humour courtesy of Mr Stephen Lewis. Thanks Ste. I kept managing to get myself extra punishment from big sis for some reason as well. Typical!) myself and Andi went to shoot with another total legend - Clare Fonda and were joined by the gorgeous Sarah Gregory to create Mothers and Daughters 09. Much hilarity involving a security guard coming up to tell us that the downstairs neighbours had complained that "People were jumping up and down a lot up there", and Andi breaking her hairbrush on poor Sarah's behind (which bloody well didn't get me out of it either - Clare very kindly pointed out that her Mason Pearson was in the bathroom, so we could just switch to that for my spanking!)

The evening was the party, and we got dressed up to the nines, and had some more tasty food. I was, possibly for the first time ever - defeated by the chocolate cake, whose slices were about the same size as my car. Quelle (tasty) horreur!

Here's myself and the beautiful Andi. Please note my shoes, which were borrowed for the evening as a benefit of having a sister with a similar shoe-size and a fetish for ridiculously fine shoes. They're Swarovski-encrusted Gina shoes, ladies. (I won't even bother directing that at you boys, I know you switched off at the "sh" of "shoes"...) I love my sister. :)

Bleedin' hell, the words are starting to swim! Tea break!

*insert appropriate "Amy-quaffing peppermint tea" SFX*

Ah-HA! Back in the room!

Actually. What the hell happened after the party? Oh, yes. We went back to what we named the Lilliput Bar for a few nightcaps. Why the Gullivan reference? Just look:

I rest my case.

The next day myself and the other thrill-seeking nut-job among us, Niki Flynn headed to Stratosphere, and had us an early-afternoon, highly hungover, couple of hours of being flung in the air 1,000 foot above the ground. G-force-tastic! We had a real blast, and spent the first ride we went on, the aptly-named Insanity, informing the Strip way below us that we make hardcore CP films in Eastern Europe - and we're proud of it!!

In the evening Lucy, Leia and I headed to Zumanity, one of the 4squillion Cirque du Soleil shows, and had a fabulous time admiring the various, er, highlights of the show. (I think it's probably not good that I got quite excited about a piece of hydraulic bridging, but I did then completely forget about it in the face, or rather, pecs of sheer muscle action going on. Holy. Moly.)
We then hit Coyote Ugly for a while, and actually did dance around handbags, until a drunk guy fell on them. Then the evening pretty much went thus:
Leave Coyote Ugly, take up residence in bar outside.
Drink a lot more.
A certain blonde member of the Brit Invasion simulates a sex act with a large pink simian costume (empty).
Brit Invasion leave shortly after...
...and depart to Downtown, to drink more and supposedly gamble.
Drinking occurs. Some attempt at gambling occurs.
Drinking.
Amy is chatted up by a 40 year old woman and orders another stiff drink.
Cab back to hotel, in which Amy leaves iPhone.
Amy discovers loss, and is thankfully so drunk that it just doesn't matter.
All day breakfast at 3am, with very lovely people (Mija, to name a particular star) assisting in the attempt to track down phone & cab.

I'd had the foresight to get specific insurance before I left, so I was fairly sure I'd be ok on that level. What didn't help was that I then had no time-telling equipment to assist me in getting my flight the next/same morning at 9am, andthe clocks went forwards, and Andi and Leia had borrowed my travel adapter, which meant my laptop was out of battery and unable to switch on and enable me to gleen my exact flight details or check my insurance documents and ascertain what I needed to do.

So, not the least-fraught journey home I've ever had. Obviously I made it, and immediately got onto sorting out claims etc, but I'm hoping the next time I'm over that way it'll be a teeny bit less stressful. Not too much though, or I may risk being complacent. Or just bored.

A couple of days after we got back, we had the Cheeky Girls party, which was pretty tough with jet-lag and a newly pulled selection of muscles in my left leg. Having a pulled glute spanked repeatedly is a tad nippy, and I'm not intending to do it again.
The theme, as is always the case in March, was St Paddy's Day, and so my Vegas Party Dress made another appearance, (hey, I'm getting my money's worth out of that bad boy!) albeit sadly not with splendid splendid shoes.

There's myself with the splendid Donna, who's recently (and finally!!) made her debut on Northern Spanking. What a great lass!

Wowsers. I believe it's bedtime now!

xx

Cripes

2009-03-14T10:15:00.004Z

Yes, like the rest of team NSI I am back from the States.

Having been there for over a week before they got there though, I'm having a few time zone issues, so jet-lag is not treating me well.

In lieu of making a follow-up post, therefore, I shall give you a cop-out picture post from some of my sets with Vixen Ladies and Vixen Ladies HD

Mr T nicely held in place over my lap.

I love this picture. Mr L loved my boots, and just couldn't resist getting a sneaky touch of them.

He then just couldn't stop staring at my boobs. How rude!!

In the conservatory with lots of nasty implements, and me. Such a predicament...

Miss Lina and I having some fun with poor Mr T's sensitive nipples!

Proper post to come soon. Hopefully once I've slept some more, and worked off the horrendous pulled thigh muscles I got over-doing it at the gym after I got back. No matter how much Kahlua you drink, folks, and how much french toast you scoff, (but oh my, it's so good...) don't do a double gym session on no-sleep and with a jet-lag cold, ok? It's a really bad idea...

Oh, and I believe the LAW of geometry goes something like this:

In dem schatten meiner... Arsch

2009-02-22T16:19:00.004Z

Due apologies to Heyse. And most likely Germany also.

For, 'lo, the week came upon us in which Amy the Intrepid took a choice selection of panties, and likewise some splendid shoes, and didst place them within a case of burnished polypropylene.

Yes, to balance out my internal compass, after going East, it only makes sense that I go West for real this time, and am again heading out to the far flung Western States of the United variety.

I'll be doing a little shooting, and a little (more) misbehaving - fortuitously cumulating in a few days in Sin City just at the same time as the Shadowlane Vendors' fayre and party. If you've been hankering after a signed DVD, or just advice on a troublesome skin complaint, come and find me there at the Northern Spanking stand!

X

Getting away from it all...

2009-02-16T00:17:00.005Z

There's a new Retreat Experience that's going to take the World by storm.

It's exclusive.

It's selective.

It will change your perceptions.

Click the picture to find out where the World's Hottest Spanking Models take their weekenders...

Flagello Ex Machina

2009-02-13T03:36:00.004Z

No doubt many of you will have already seen Pandora's post about Spanking Server putting our films with the Spanking Machine online, but if you've missed it, here are a couple of pics from my sets.

This was the first taste of the machine that we had, and, going second, I had the nerve-wracking joy of watching Pandora take her punishment, and, more importantly, hearing Pandora take her set.
There's that slightly clichéd act of whipping the cane through the air instead of making the stroke, which can sometimes be quite effective and make the spankee quiver and jump, and sometimes just be a bit cringe-worthy, but that sound pales in comparison with the machine's action. Hoorah for whips. And Hoorah for scary machines.

OMG teh Amy and her BAZOOMBAS. Yes, thankyou, I've seen them on a few occasions now. What you can't see in that particular pic is the box they brought out specially for me to stand on. In my 6 inch heels. With the extra links in the cuffs. Ach...

I'm liking the new front page for Spanking Server though - now you can choose which site of theirs to visit from the main Diseno Media page, which is a lot more comprehensive than before. If you have a quick gander at the Falaka site from there, you may catch a pic of me on the front page having my footsies battered. Youch.

Don't worry. I do just as much work dishing it out. Just not always on the same shoot! Here's a new one I just noticed over at Vixen Ladies

Poor young man. Double-teamed by Miss Lina and Miss Amy. 'Tis a hard life when you're a naughty boy, eh?

Brief Banter from a Blonde

2009-02-07T20:00:00.004Z

So a month ago I was out shooting for Spanking Server/Pain 4 Fem and had already - back in December - decided to take at least the rest of January "off" from doing any submissive work. Partially for the sake of my behind, as I'm in no hurry to get a weak spot, and also to give me a bit of a break after a manic December.

I'm still going to be be having a fairly quiet February due to a big shoot commitment at the end of the month - cripes, it's a short month, isn't it? Have to step up my workout routine I think!

I'm currently languishing with a cold, which is an annoyance, as I'd watched everyone else be stricken with it once or twice over the last few months, and managed to keep my Vicks First Defence levels up enough to stave it off. However, I think I got a bit cocky and lax last week, and was suddenly hit by it earlier this week. Curses. A curry seemed to help ease some of it, (along with several different types of drug...) although I think it wasn't particularly appreciated by the people I hung out with the next day - apparently I was emitting wafts of onion and garlic. Not that I could really tell.

Hmmm.... Anyway. It's not that bad. And I'm holed up at a friend's place in the warm, with a Kir Royale on the go. And cake. Oh yes. Happy Amy.

Where've I cropped up on the 'net recently then?

Well, obviously Northern Spanking has had a couple of sets of me go up.

"29 for Amy the Maid" features - incredibly! - myself receiving the cane for hoovering up Stephen's cufflinks. Much fun was had with that hoover, I can tell you. There's talk on the comment board at Northern that it's not a plausible film due to the ease with which I utilised the telescopic attachment on the hoover, but I did, in fact, do all my own stunts! ;)

There's also one of the newer Northern HD films, which is actually the results of behind-the-scenes naughtiness from none other than Miss Sascha Harvey! We'd left the cameras running after the previous film, when Sascha decided that she'd just not been beaten enough, and asked if there was any chance she could get a quick seeing to whilst we set up for the next films.
Never ones to turn a lady in need down, we only too gladly obliged!

Blimey - that 3rd glass of Kir Royale is really hitting the spot, so I should probably leave you before I start channelling Keats or something.

It would appear that Bars And Stripes has had a bit of a make-over - just looking at my inmate profile, and was really quite tickled to see that I've clearly had an addition to one of my tattoos whilst I've been banged up. I wonder who did it? My money's on Flynn. We can blame everything on her - she's the prison nutter! ;)

I also just noticed that - at the time of writing - Strict Women have someone rather familiar on their title page. Yes, my latest film is out with them just now, and I'm once again firmly spanking some naughty bottom - what a terrible chore!

I'm also currently in one of the most recent films over at Spanked At Home, in which I get a nasty caning for writing a letter home saying just what is happening to me in Germany. Whilst it's not lies, Alex is unimpressed that I don't seem to appreciate the discipline he's giving me during my stay. As such, I have to write a new letter - whilst being caned. Harsh!

Right - there's a mini lemon cake with my name on it! Bye for now!

x

Go West! Er. No... I mean East!

2009-01-09T20:34:00.003Z

As you may have gathered, myself and Pandora were shipped out on a plane this week to shoot for Spanking Server/Pain4fem.

As you may have also gathered, we made it back alive, which is a relief, given all our jokes about making a third sequel to Tarantino and Roths' Hostel, which is famously set in Bratislava and features much violence and screaming.

We didn't quite make it back unscathed. However, we didn't expect to. So that is probably ok. We had quite a few new experiences, mostly captured on film. I kept trying to remember that I needed to speak in English in the films, despite the quite strong reaction to lapse into German, however shite my grammar is.

Much back whipping was probably my main new experience. By Jove, it's sore.
The famed Spanking Machine made a few appearances, which was both fascinating, terrifying and almost compulsive in its clinical applications. Pandora experienced it before me, but had no time to tell me exactly what it was like before it was my turn to be tied down and await something that had a more menacing sound than anything someone would ever wield.
The agonising seconds before the first stroke of the machine were hideous and exquisite. It was like a rollercoaster; I knew what the results were, from watching Pandora's go, but I didn't know what the sensation and experience would be like.
Too long passed before that first squeal of the whip coming down onto my bottom. The noise of the machine and of the whip's air resistance made me almost unaware that I'd been struck, until the pain cut through. There was also the acute awareness that if I jiggled around too much then there would be no way the machine would compensate for it.

The Spanking Server guys were superb throughout - even though every time we used one of the infamous pieces of Spanking Furniture they had to add a box or some adjustment for the mini person. I'm not sure they've had anyone my height work for them before, but even in my 6 inch heels I had to have a special box to stand on for the back whipping, and extra links in my cuffs. Oh, the shame...

The whole of the first day's shoot had that slight ominous feel about it, given that we were acutely aware we'd be shooting the P4F movie the next day. We were shown some of the caning section from the Flynnster's movie with them, and both fell briefly silent at the demonstration of the "extra hard" strokes.
I wasn't particularly nervous, but probably didn't help Pandora's nerves with my jocular interjections at meal times, or up in our bedroom.

The actual film was a massive experience. You don't get an adjective in there. It was that massive. Spanking Server had already decided on the film story and characters, and both of us, but myself especially, were cast against type in terms of what we'd normally gravitate towards when given an improvisation situation, and this twist and challenge on the acting front instantly grabbed me. I was crying well before we broke for lunch, about 3 hours before I'd receive any punishment.
I was really concerned that they would be a bit annoyed with me, because I knew that when I got up there and the cane started to fly, I'd withdraw again and dry up - I've never actually cried in a punishment. Partially because normally it'd be on film, and if I'm concentrating on working and how I'm looking, I'm not going to be crying, and also because I'm naturally stoic/plotting my revenge whilst I'm being beaten.

However I took a different approach and buckled down into pushing the acting, and ended up sobbing so much before I was even strapped down, that the production team were looking rather worried. Maybe they thought I was going to genuinely flip on them, I don't know. I found it rather amusing. I think they did too, but only between takes when I was being normal Amy, and not hysterical terror Amy.

I went first for the caning, which meant poor Pandora had to watch. Not only that, she had to watch from the side, in our cell; so she was trapped, with a clear view of how hard the cane was coming down, and not much of a view of how much bottom I had left. Five of my sentence were the "extra hard" ones, and nothing upon nothing could have prepared me for them. I don't think trying to describe them would do the experience any justice, so you'll just have to watch them when it comes out.
I wouldn't have blamed Pandora for declining any extra hard ones after having witnessing them being delivered. I saw her final one from the side whilst I was in the cell, and wondered how my legs hadn't been sheared straight off. ;)

My ass, sadly, came off slightly less dramatically than Pandora's - too many factors could have affected that to blame any one thing. I had a higher tolerance level at the start of the shoot, and I'd been taking some arnica starting the day before the shooting, to prepare for the bruising, and I'd also had probably nearly an hour's break and some aloe vera applied by the time we took the pictures back up in the bedroom after Pandora's caning (which was the end of the film) P also had a wee bit of bruising from shooting the day before, which probably won't have appreciated being caned all that much!
Nonetheless, it was the hardest caning I have ever taken by a long shot. Especially cold.

Today - or, indeed, from a few hours afterwards, I have a pretty black right cheek already, but the left's bruising has yet to come through - it's very deep, so might not appear for a day or two. Whilst I'd love for the current lines and spectrum of purples thereof to be a mark of honour for a wee while, I do need it to die down fairly swiftly due to possible semi-clad interaction with someone of the R/L variety. Damn this double life.

Pandora said in her write up that I was remarkably calm and composed in the aftermath. Which is sort of true, but doesn't mean I wasn't in pain. Actually, an almost equal amount of my pain was coming from the killer, killer headache one can only get from extreme sobbing over a period of nearly 4 hours, and neither of us - get this - had brought any painkillers whatsoever. (and those of you who know why I need painkillers on a normal day will probably boggle a bit at that, especially given the whole being tied to high things)
I did get a bad crash after the adrenaline had departed, but I think that's pretty par for the course after that amount of pain and emotion. I expected to be quite traumatised today, but I seem to have absorbed it in much the same way I deal with other extreme situations, so actually my main problem has just been the knackeredness from the early starts and dragging heavy cases about, and the soreness from my ass, back, shoulders and head.

Gosh, I'm tired. I think that's all I can write just now - needless to say, the results of the shoot will be available on Spanking Server and Pain 4 Fem in the next month or two. Who knows if the screen version will manage to capture what we experienced - we've both said we're a tad reluctant to watch the P4F when it comes out. Mainly due to the amount of crying, for my part, but there's a big mix of conflicting emotions there, and not just the ones in which I constantly criticise how I look.

To bed, to bed, there's knocking in my head.

x

Season's Beatings...

2008-12-24T22:25:00.005Z

... and all the other tired CP-esque festive greetings. I think I may have heard them all, but do feel free to think of any particularly clever, witty ones that you feel I may appreciate. ;)

Just popping on here inbetween dealing with Christmas, which is, as normal, fairly beset by disaster and a spot of death - not mine just yet though, you'll be no doubt delighted to hear.

As you'll see on the Northern Spanking Christmas Special, we are indeed also in the swing of the season, even if that swing is Hywel's right arm...

Yes, we spent much time shooting the marvellous Amelia-Jane Rutherford in the last couple of weeks, and one of those films, incredibly, is being released pretty much straight away (baring in mind that normally things that go up can be around 2 years old by the time they make it onto the sit) - possibly because we didn't already have a Christmas Special, due to various factors.

She plays a vile-natured glamour model, shooting alongside Syra Garcia, and is spanked by her real life (My Goodness! We have those?!) other half, Hywel, who shoots an awful lot of glamour models, so doubtless got some sort of pent-up anger release out of this video.

The second part goes up, appropriately tomorrow, on Northern Spanking - not to be missed over your mince pie and cheeky sherry, or maybe that's just me.

I just had a small fit of nostalgia looking at the Christmas specials from previous years, a couple of which feature myself, looking ridiculously young - we had the Christmas Panto a couple of years ago:

- Which I suspect may have been the start of the descent into the more surreal genre of films we've (*cough* I've) been known to make. But it is rather funny, and is indeed the film that caused Lucy to wet herself laughing during an outtake, so do check it out and see if you can work out where. If not, I think the outtakes were put up on the site at some point, so you can probably grab them there if you don't have the DVD of Joy.

Then there was the slightly disturbing "Christmas present" of sisters the previous year - several mens' fantasies it may be, but it's not mine! Still, it contains a couple of these, frankly bizarre, tandem spanking pictures which we had a lot of fun doing, and just prove how bad an idea red fishnet is!

Ah well... it's nice to see older pictures of yourself. Sometimes.

Or maybe not.

*books new year botox*

Of course, I may well sometimes appear on other sites at Christmas, like
Spanked At Home

- we picked up the hats and the Gluhwein mugs at the Weinachtsmarkt the night before, so it was quite a genuine Christmassy shoot, unlike the ones you often find yourself doing in June, such as the Northern Spanking Christmas Special from last year, "There ain't no Sanity Clause."

As Lucy discovered - it's really rather hard to find a suitable Father Christmas beard in summertime. As for a non-crotchless santa suit, well, that's just impossible. Everyone loves a crotchless Santa!

Have a fab Holiday season, folks, and I will catch you in the New Year.

Amy

xx

Black thigh-day

2008-12-05T03:08:00.000Z

Cor, I've been really rather busy recently. Sorry about that, folks.

So what's new? Well. I've done a couple of shoots for different websites to the ones I was already appearing on - World Domination is truly at hand.

I do like shooting (well, I like firing things as well, but in this case I do actually mean filming) - but it does amuse me sometimes how glam some people think it is. If only they could see you pulling your back muscles for a pose, having to walk across the garden with your 6 inch heels in your hand so you don't aerate someone's lawn too much, having your underwear fished out of your arse crack and adjusted because your hands are held somewhere, or having to pull the cameraperson out of some tiny space they managed to wedge themselves into to get the perfect shot.

Generally, to be a decent spanking model, you will need to be able to do good make-up for camera, both natural and "evening" style. Hair is a good bonus. For a big number of companies, they are not remotely interested in what your head looks like, and wouldn't even notice if you had eyeliner smeared all over your face - so if you want to come off looking ok you'll need to be able to Do Things. And do them reasonably fast.
I invariably, if I'm traveling same day to a shoot, batter my way onto a train, have a cup of tea (if there's time) and then try to at least get my make-up base done, if not all of it - I'll often leave a train looking completely different to how I got on. My l33t skills are now so good that I can do full eye make-up in a matter of minutes on a bouncy train. Hardcore...

Clothes. You need a lot. I'll repeat that in bold: a lot. Not just cute little skirts and plenty of panties, although they'll get you some of the way. Before I moved down south I had a whole room full of things I've worn in videos. And shoes, obviously. The sheer amount that found its way to a charity shop when I cleared my house was staggering. And I still have a good two wardrobes' worth now, which gets added to (and sometimes pruned) weekly, usually out of - yup - charity shops. It took me a couple of years to start seriously amassing things. You start to look ahead to what you'll need as stock items - short skirts/dresses, jenas, various tops/shirts, including a couple of white school shirts, couple of business suits or similar (usually needed more if you're domming in things), sensible shoes, less sensible shoes, downright dangerous shoes, knee boots... and as for underwear... Just buy it. And lots of it.
My stocking collection is starting to frighten me a little. Before this year I'd have never even considered owning and wearing proper f/f nylons, as I'd have balked at the cost, for a start.

Dragging a suitcase full of various selections of the above around the city/country/continent/world is also no fun. Especially on rush hour trains.

You'll then arrive - possibly made-up, possibly not - flustered, sweaty (which is a nightmare beyond belief if you've needed to fake-tan before the shoot. That's a whole new paragraph.) and probably in dire need of tea/breakfast/cigarettes/chocolate. Sometimes you might get one or more of those essentials. Quite often, however...

I do like shoots where I get fed at some point. My first Girls Boarding School shoot, a few years ago, had a scene where I got to break a glass while eating kinder chocolate. Method acting was employed there, I can tell you. I had to force that tasty little bar down my neck. And then finished it while we had to cut and clean up the glass from around my stockinged feet. Brill.

All the while, you can't forget that it's a job. Yes, sometimes you get the chance to play out your fantasies, and that's great. But it's pretty rare on the whole. You have to do what the people who are paying you want, even if you could cheerfully pull out your toenails rather than do another contrite schoolgirl sans homework... I get a bit concerned to hear about people who simply must achieve "sub-space" from all their shoots. You can't get that involved and be a good model. It's not the right arena for it, in any case.
Yes, you can have very intense, very enjoyable, very "real" scenes on film. But if you take it so far that it's going to adversely affect other people, or the filming, then you should probably be exploring that side of things in your private life...

Aaannyway...

Last week I followed the footsteps of Pandora and Leia-Ann and went to shoot with Punishment Bitch.

I had a super day - Sonia is such a vibrant, wicked lady, and I found myself quite fascinated with her. (I also think her main site, Lady Sonia is hot as hell, although I did manage to not express my appreciation in too vociferous a way.)
I pulled out the 4 pairs of very different high heels I'd brought with me, and we cooed briefly over them, before Sonia exclaimed with delight that she had some f/f coloured stockings to match two of the pairs of shoes. And oh yes she did. I have hot pink, navy and sky blue RHT stockings, which I'd not taken with me that day, but she had cerise and electric blue with contrast black seams and tops, and they looked awesome with the matching heels. So awesome, in fact, that she said I should keep them.
Which is why my collection is growing at a fairly frightening rate.

We shot some really rather sexy stuff, and it was just wonderfully different to a standard spanking shoot. I can't wait to go back!

Not, of course, that a standard spanking shoot is anything particularly bad. My second shoot last week was for an offshoot of the GBS family - Spanked At Home.
I can't say I've had many other shoots so beset by mild disasters, but it was a lot of fun, and my German got a good outing. In fact, we did most of a scene in it. Mach es dir selber, NOTW...

I think one of my favourite shooting moments of the whole year was during this shoot. We were just finishing the first video, which ended with me protesting, crying out and generally shouting that I didn't understand what the big scary German was saying to me (which is hard, when you do.) and Alex had finished paddling me. He unceremoniously plonked the big wooden paddle on my back, where I was bent over with my jeans around my ankles, and stormed out of the room to leave me in disgrace. Except... as he went out of the door, he suddenly uttered "Umm, hallo....", clearly not to any of us in the room. There then followed a conversation, clearly with a gruff male.
Horrorstruck glances were exchanged in the room as I scrambled for my jeans, then the camera operator also went out. She came back in shortly afterwards, desperately trying not to shriek laughing: the flat we had rented for the shoot was in the middle of being renovated, and the landlord had clearly figured that we wouldn't mind if the handyman came around to fix various things. Of course, he had his own keys...
I popped out to introduce myself and at least show him that I wasn't there against my will, and he just shrugged acceptance and went back to his work. We ended up with two maintenance men working in there - presumably number 1 called his friend and told him the porn-tastic news. The Spanked At Home team were really quite embarrassed by the whole thing. I just laughed. The rest of the day involved a slightly bizarre symbiotic relationship with the mechanics, as we would shoot a scene of spanking porn, complete with me making rather a lot of noise, and then they would drill for a while.

I had a wicked time; German is probably one of my better languages, after English, Scottish and Lucy (believe me, "Lucy" is a hard hard language to master. Few understand it, fewer speak it.) although it's far from fluent, and at 5.30am GMT in a large German airport Amy is not at her best to speak English, let alone something else. Challenging!

The fabulous titular pun of this post, of course, doesn't entirely relate to the credit crunch, but rather my rear post-Germany.

Er, ouch. Although those pics really don't have a lot of contrast or detail in them, being a camera phone. It's damn hard to picture your thighs at that angle. Thankfully I found my digital camera charger today finally, so I'll be able to take more normal pictures at some point.

I was going to make this post the night before the Cheeky Girls Party yesterday, as an exercise in "Where not to hit Amy tomorrow", however time as ever intervened, and I had to go and wear some of my longest f/f stockings to try and cover it up. I was then promptly poked on it several times by people saying "Oh my WORD, who did that to you??!" Which is a bit counter-productive, as my explanation is masked a little by my trying not to maim and kill you. OW! (Yes, it's just at that lovely healing stage where every touch prickles.)

The party itself was fab - and we had a Christmas dinner to boot. The first of the season! Splendid. Hopefully we'll have some pictures soon as the girls looked great, but you'll just have to wait. :) I met a big fan of mine, who wants to be known as "The Foreigner" on my blog, but I'm afraid that doesn't really narrow it down at all dear, so you'll probably have to stick with Baby Bear! ;)
I also got to dish out a wickedly hard cold caning for a cheeky boy who was leaving early and was worried he was going to go without getting a thrashing. Never one to let that public service go unfulfilled, I stepped in. What a chore!

Next week is the Kane Kristmas party which is fully booked, so get on the reserve list if you didn't get in fast enough.

Cripes. It's 3am, so I better get to bed.

Bye for now!

x

New Amelia-Jane Rutherford Film out this month!

2008-11-02T23:31:00.006Z

I've been lucky enough to be given some preview piccies of a very exciting new film released this month at Northern Spanking!

I LOVE Amelia-Jane as both a friend and a colleague, and have been lucky enough to work with her on a few occasions now. Her performance in "Twins" over at Northern still makes me laugh out loud - although Lucy and Stephens' performances do assist there too.

Lucy and Paul say

We have a brilliant new film coming out soon, featuring *Amelia Jane Rutherford*, called "Ghastly Amelia Jane". First part will be on the site on 18th November and there will be six parts as its 55mins long! The story is that she is the stroppy and lazy daughter of the owner of a very large engineering firm and her dad has asked one of his engineers, (Paul!), to school her in electrical engineering in advance of her degree. It starts with her being dragged out of bed in her jammies, protesting ferociously and spanked. When she's eventually dressed in her school uniform her tuition doesn't go well - she's learned nothing, can get none of the answers right to very basic questions and is truly ghastly to the poor engineer throughought, being spanked again and strapped all to very little effect. It is only when she's made to touch her toes for a thorough caning that any contrition appears.

I really can't imagine Amelia being ghastly to anyone... umm... except on video. But she's so good at being ghastly that maybe she should be spared the rod for once? Don't you think?

[fx] tumbleweed [/fx]

Ah. That answered that question then!

Anyway. I am practically bouncing off the edge of my seat for this film - it has pyjama spankings AND school uniform - and could you imagine anyone looking better than her in those wonderful socks?

Get on over to Northern Spanking and get ready for a treat! OK, you have to wait a week or two, but in the meantime we have two brilliant films of her (including the quite fabulous "Amelia-Jane, get out of that bath!" - naked splendour ahoy!) and photosets, and, of course, the guest film from Restrained Elegance where she appears as Ariel Andersson, whom I have also worked with. ;)

Oh, and there's also frightening numbers of films with other models in, including the newest addition to the Northern Spanking family, 18 year old Irelynn, in her first film:

Can you tell whose house that is from the subtly coloured furniture? Clashes terribly with her fiery bottom though. I should spank her for that myself!

Parrrrrrr-tay!

2008-11-02T01:35:00.022Z

Wow! I've had three fab parties over the last week. Sam Johnson's being the first - and the one I've managed to procure some piccies from!
As a special Hallowe'en type thing myself, Ms Johnson and the rather fabulous Aleesha were little red devils, with the aid of the rather subtly titled "Instant Devil Kit", consisting of horns, tails, forks and bow ties - Beelzebub meets the Chippendales on the way to a dinner party, kind of thing...

Here, not in any way predictably, are our bottoms:

Here, slightly less predictably, are our bottoms again:

"Ah ha!" I hear you cry (somewhat electronically) "Woman where she belongs, on hands and knees scrubbing the floor!"
Well possibly, but probably not the attire normally attributed to the housewife stereotype.

Yes, we are cleaning up in that picture. Why? Well... a certain culprit, known as Bolly Boy, managed to drop a full bottle of champagne that he'd just opened onto the floor.
In the chaos ensuing, I'm sure we should have maybe had a representative from Dulux there, as the coverage of floor, walls, radiator, chairs and people's legs was remarkable. There has to be a new product in there for ease of painting.

I would point out that Aleesha is rather conspicuously missing from that shot. I think she heard the commotion and hid in the bathroom!

As the evening was marking the birthday of the lovely Mr A, there was cake (oh yes, and chocolate cake at that. JOY!) and Sam also asked if I'd give her a quick hand administering his present from us - a cane stroke for every year.
As I am a lady of much discretion (unlike others currently in the press) I will refrain from divulging just how many we gave, but it was quite a blistering set, as I'd not caned anyone since the judicial afternoon a couple of weeks ago, and was dying to give some stripes out - I'm so generous!

After that was the Secretarial Sauciness of the Moonglow Party, and then the Naughtiest Nurses you ever did see at Kane, which also had a birthday boy, Mr S, who also got a few strokes of the cane at the end, but more as a torturous right of passage than a present. I'd love to say we were all kind with our allocated single stroke each, but... well. You do have a very heavy hand, my darling, and you had just beaten us all so very hard... ;)

I signed several copies of the magazine - my white shirt makes an excellent little notepad! I was also massively impressed with the food. Having recently had to move from the previous Kane venue, which was known for having the best party food about, I didn't think we'd get anywhere near as tasty, but it was a pretty damn good spread, and... there was chocolate cake. JOY!

I had to dash off afterwards to get to a gym class, so missed the normal debauchery in the pub afterwards. Hopefully I'll get to stay a bit longer after the Christmas Party on the 11th of December.

On a completely unrelated note: I found this at the train station the other day and just had to take a picture. Has she made her escape from Bars and Stripes? !

Coming up tomorrow - a terribly exiting preview of Northern Spanking's next AMELIA-JANE RUTHERFORD film.

In the meantime, if you need a really good chuckle, check out Northern's "Makeover Madness", the first part of which is out now. I only saw this for the first time today, and normally cannot abide watching myself in films. Yes, it's another comedy, and I pretty much excel myself in it, as does the gorgeous and very game Jadie.
The second part, out this week, is a little more serious, and really quite sexy, from what I remember of the filming, two years ago! The idea was thought up by the ever-legendary Stephen Lewis, who had to lock himself in the kitchen during the filming of the first part as he kept laughing.

Cruel man. And there was me getting my bottom thoroughly reddened by someone who somehow managed to remain deadpan despite looking like an orgy in a candyfloss factory.

A brief history of the last week or so...

2008-10-21T19:34:00.007+01:00

Just to clarify things: I am not an escort.

I feel somewhat compelled to write this, given that I have just been bombarded with a day of ridiculous emails from a man who believes me to be thus, despite it being written clearly that I do not provide a sexual service.
Apparently my declination to meet with him (and have sex in his hotel room) is due to my overwhelming prejudice against disabled people, (Well, possibly, if you count utter stupidity as a disability...) and I have been flooded with emails arguing the finer points of my Spankee Finder profile.

As such, I'd throw a quick warning out there to any of the girls on there as a Spankee just now to watch out for this man contacting you. The mails from him have descended into such offensive garbage that I've had to block his email address. Email me if you need me to clarify identity - I won't post any details here, despite my obvious huge discrimination against disabled people.

Anyway, enough of the joys of email and phone abuse that some of us ladies get on a fairly regular basis. What is happening in Amy-Land just now?

Well... as most of you have gathered, I am now a London resident, so am doing 121 (and, indeed, 221 and 321!) sessions - sub, domme, or switch. I had a particularly lovely day last week for a slave's birthday, where myself, the formidable Miss Parker and Kirstyn dished out a breathtaking judicial punishment - Happy Birthday slave H!

Yesterday I got to catch up with Mr D, who I'd not seen for many months. He made up for the lack of contact with various implements, and sent me a couple of pictures to share:

That, incidentally, is my "wench" outfit. :) Embarrassingly, he also showed me how to use a couple of features on my iPhone that I'd not managed to achieve in the first two weeks of having it. I could have just read the manual, I suppose... but where's the fun in that?

Later this week, in amongst my rather frighteningly busy real social life, I have a private party with the super Sam Johnson, then next week sees my first Moonglow party for four years.

Especially exciting is next Thursday's Kane Party - not only is the awesome Leia-Ann Woods going to be there as well to have yet more fun with (we spent a whole afternoon being smooth at our pub lunch on sunday, which was splendid!) and not only will I get to see some of you boys reading just now who I haven't seen in months, but some of you may have noticed that the cover girl on the latest issue - number 103 - is somewhat familiar...

There is a 7 page interview with me, with accompanying pictures, inside the mag too, as well as a photo-set from one of my recent films from Northern Spanking so ardent fans should be particularly pleased.

If you're attending any of the parties, especially the Kane one, and wish me to sign your magazine, then by all means bring it along! (with a nice Sharpie marker that I can sniff at the same time) - if you're not, then... well... WHY NOT?! ;)

What else... Oh, I recently went over to Holland to shoot with Girls In Cuffs - a site that pretty much does what it says on the tin, let's be honest.

Here's a wee preview - there's already a set up on the site too. And a (probably exceptionally embarrassing) video of me attempting to get out of said cuffs.

Hmmm... that's it for now. More soon, I hope!!

xx

7 Deadly Sins Meme

2008-10-16T01:07:00.004+01:00

Well, considering Niki tagged me in this I should probably finally get round to it. Who knows when she may next get the opportunity to cane me, but I should probably keep on her good side, don't you think?

ANGER

1. With whom did you last get angry?

Genuinely, blind angry, as opposed to pissed off angry (which is most of the time, depending on what irritations the public throw at me each day) was probably my ex. Enough said!

2. What is your weapon of choice?

Physics; being able to lower my centre of gravity, or feel out the best leverage point for maximum effect. I love knives a great deal, as Lucy and Paul will testify, but wouldn't use one in a real fight.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?

In a fight? Er, yes, if he was going to batter me first!

4. How about of the same sex?

Have you seen girls fight? It's not about slapping and nails and hair pulling anymore... Bloody crazy women.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?

I'd take a guess at the ex, per above, but I apparently drove my more recent partner insane overnight last month due to having a very restless night, and thrashing about /shouting in my sleep. I was oblivious, of course, even when he smacked me to try and wake me up. He ended up giving up and going to do some work, so was in less than a good mood in the morning.

6. What is your pet peeve?

I can only choose one??! People who force their beliefs/lifestyles on me is a high scorer just now.
People who rape the English Language in general, but especially people on the "scene" who have decided that because they are "kinky" they are exempt from needing to write like a normal person, and scatter r/Random C/capitals everywhere to P/presumably denote their W/wanker s/Status.

And yes, I may indeed receive emails from people like this quite often. Don't do it, kids.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?

Oh, I keep them. Depends what's happened, and it must be pretty severe, but I can keep them, then have the person who wronged me never actually know if I have genuinely forgiven them or not, but still be outwardly lovely to them. Adds a nice tension to their day. :)

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?

Take my medication...

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?

Ummm... not really a valid question. When I'm ill, I might sleep all day. Or I might need to pull an all-night travel situation or somesuch. So it varies vastly.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't.

I could look at my to-do list here and pick about 4 names off it. Obviously I'm not going to. But there's a few people. Emails stack up and disappear from my inbox quite quickly now.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?

It would probably be blaming the ever-glorious tube for my being late, when in fact I couldn't find any clothes and left the house late as a consequence.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones)?

I don't have a TV, and not sure we get those much over here?

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?

Thursday. Yup. Shocking. A week ago. Have been running round like a loon since though, so not been entirely inactive.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?

Twice. Mainly because it's a new phone and I couldn't work out how to turn it off.

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?

Hot: Soya hot chocolate.
Cold: Most Champagne and cocktails made thereof.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?

I only eat white meat, but will eat either colour on poultry.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?

I'd ask the ambulance that picked me up afterwards. Too much, and enough for alcohol poisoning for some time.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?

Nope.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?

Absolutely.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?

I have a predominantly sweet tooth, but I love a nice olive, or a tasty curry.

7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, LUNCH?

No. I like animals, and wouldn't sully my body with child meat.

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?

Lordy, an awful lot.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?

Umm... not as many as Niki, I'd guess. My nude work isn't quite as prolific as hers! More than enough in person though.

3. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?

Depends on all sorts. I like nice arms on guys. On girls it's probably eyes or lips.

4. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?

All the time. I quite like how as a woman I can get away with it a bit more when I stare at a fabulous rack. No, it's probably just as rude, but you still get away with it much better than if a guy did it. ;) As for crotches - I can't help it. It's not even a sexual thing. I will notice if people's flies are undone as they walk in a room - even periphally. Then I have to find a way of telling them. It's fine if I know them, but it can be a bit harder with strangers.

5. Have you done it?

Ummmm...

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?

Not as such. One tried to start a fight with me for walking on her patch. I've been propositioned *as* a perceived prostitute on the street a few times. Once was at 8am, when I was walking home from a party. Nice.

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?

Yup. I have an abject fear of being pregnant, so always have a few tests in stock at any given time - saves sleepless nights.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?

Two.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?

eBay is king, but I've found a couple of very awesome shops with lovely jewellery and bags down here recently, which I may take a trip to in the event I have any spare cash in the next year. We won't start talking about shoes just now.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?

Buy lots of presents for people, pay off mortgage/cards etc, get some serious investment advice considering the current joys of the world's finance.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?

Oh rich, totally. Who wants a camera in their face at all hours?

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?

Ergh. I'd absolutely say no, but sometimes you just need to buckle down and make some money for a while.

6. Have you ever stolen anything?

Not a great deal, actually. I find it very hard to consider.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?

No idea. Apparently there are 209 albums on my iTunes. I think I've bought most of them though.

PRIDE

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?

Passing my driving test during one of the more difficult periods of my life.

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?

I'd imagine it's an awful lot; they're my parents.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?

Oh, all sorts. Bungee jumping, going to Paris, seeing justice served on various miscreants.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?

A little. I guess. Although it depends on what the contest was.

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?

No.

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Absolutely.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?

Buckled down and did some work for the first time in a week or so.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?

Erm... One of my friends has some really fabulous boots that I've always been dying for.

2. Who would you want to go on Trading Spaces with?

What is that? Like Wife Swap? I wouldn't want someone else living in my world.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?

I'd want to be myself. I'd love bits of other people's bodies, or their material effects and lifestyles, but not to actually be someone else.

4. Have you ever been cheated on?

Ach, just now it's a question we don't ask. Who knows.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?

Just one?

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?

Willpower.

7. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?

Well the only really fun ones are Lust, Gluttony and sometimes Anger...

The wanderer begins her return

2008-10-05T00:51:00.003+01:00

So Amy is now resident in London. It's been a rather long and still-challenging process due to various fabulous real-life factors (why can't it all be like our movies? Oh. Actually. Best not answer that...) but I am finally starting to be able to sit down and blog again. I am also now available for more frequent London 121 sessions, so drop me a line if you're eager! I apologise to any of you who've tried to phone me recently: Telephony .V. Amy has been a most exciting match series this autumn, with Telephony soundly beating her (and not in the way we are most accustomed) on no less than two of her handsets. Yes. I have lost one phone and had the other stolen, so currently about 8 people have a number they can contact me on. I'm working on getting this sorted just now, but please be patient and just email me in the meantime. ;)

I'm currently having a quick look through the recent Northern Spanking updates and chuckling rather a lot at the set entitled "Bitter Moon."

I remember shooting this set (quite some time ago, too.) and seeing that the call sheet just had "Bitter Moon" written on it. As you'll see in the set, we had so much fun dousing my cleavage, top and just about everything else with milky products we decided to do it again. Now do you see why perhaps I shouldn't wish that my life completely resembles one of my movies? ;)

Speaking of Northern, I got a glimpse or two of the latest film update "Spanking Miss Jones", which is an actual FEAST for anyone who loves Leia-Ann Woods, or Stockings, or Legs, or incredible patent black stilettos. If you love all four, you may want to have a paramedic standing by before you watch the film, as the opening sequence especially is just hot hot hot.

I must away to bed just now. Bye for now! x

Postcards from a train

2008-08-27T16:39:00.002+01:00

I do apologise for the lack of updates; real life has gotten in the way to quite a serious extent, so posting has had to take a bit of a hiatus for a little while.

I am currently en route to shoot with the fabulous Sam Johnson, followed by a day of whooping some naughty boys' behinds with Vixen Ladies.

Last week I shot for a whole lovely day with Restrained Elegance and spent much of my time there tied up (obviously), hanging about (literally) with, or having my feet caned alongside the iconic Ariel Andersson/Amelia-Jane Rutherford.

As for Northern Spanking... Well... I'm forbidden to say anything just now, but there are some rather exciting things planned in our Development section, and as soon as I can give you all a sneaky preview then I will!

Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round!

2008-07-28T23:13:00.005+01:00

It's been a little while since I showed some yummy highlights from Northern Spanking's bigger sister, Spanking BBW, so I've selected a quick few that caught my eye particularly.

Pensive Rapper Stee-Lew and his starlet girlfriend Izzy. He's so distracted trying to write his next hit that even a pair of lovely boobs in front of him fails to capture his attention!

Luckily, Izzy's proffered bottom finally sparks some interest, and is given a lovely warming.

Emma-Jay tries to swindle her insurance to get a new TV, and is caught out by Mr Kennedy. Lucky for her, he's a reasonable man, and tells her there is still a way to get the claim approved...

It's always hard thinking of the ideal birthday present for your spouse. Not for the Spanking BBW minxes! Isabella thinks the perfect present for hubby Phil is herself and her sister dressed up as nurses, for his enjoyment all evening!

Of course, with two such beautiful curvy ladies, why hide them in uniforms? Phil has the right idea and gets them to strip off for the tawse.

And, of course, we have more naughtiness from the Spanking BBW head girl, Tanya, who is wickedly horny in this set, playing with her new big, black toy!

Giovanni is less than impressed - she said she'd wait until he was back to play with it! To add to her pent-up frustration, he straps her bottom to a vivid pink, making her even more rampant!

So as you can see, Northern Spanking's sister site may be bigger, but it's certainly not any more well-behaved!

If you want more ridiculously hot pics of larger ladies up to no good at all and being thoroughly spanked for it, then pop along to Spanking BBW and check the girls out!

Something that everyone should read...

2008-07-27T11:51:00.002+01:00

...as it applies to all involved in the spanking scene.

Lucy and Paul make their statement about recent affairs over on Niki's blog.

It clears up a few misconceptions and makes some truly excellent points, and is from two of the people I love the most in the world, which should be reason alone to respect it. ;)

(No pictures just now - partially because it detracts from the point a bit, and also because I've got a new hard drive and pictures require pulling out the back up!)

No, I'M a prostitute!

2008-07-17T14:37:00.002+01:00

I think we should have a whole Spartacus theme happening here. Or at least just willy-waving as to who is the bigger hooker.

Niki has made an excellent post on the more detailed version of what has been happening recently, should you have somehow managed to miss it because your head is up your arse or something. Rather than write my own swing on the topic, I'll direct you there instead, as there's not really much I can add.

Speaking of Niki...

Just what is Mr Lewis doing to her in this picture? Answers on a comment postcard... ;)

Some Highlights from the NSI barn:

2008-07-10T11:36:00.004+01:00

Well things are a teeny bit hectic now, as some of you will doubtless know. But not too busy that I can't share a couple of awesome bits from recent Northern Spanking galleries!

If you had a wish, what would it be for? Forget World Peace and all that pretentious nonsense - be selfish! Would it be for Amelia-Jane Rutherford naked in a pink sparkley foam bath?

Ta-da!!!!!

Oh, you want her bottom, perfectly formed and with a light layer of bubbles, being spanked? Well why didn't you say?!

It's been quite a year of bright young things so far - we've somehow recruited all sorts of utterly gorgeous young fillies, all quite off their own steam (we didn't even have to bribe them!!)
The latest of these lovelies is local girl Alana Rowan, seen here pilfering Paul's private chocolate supply:

Needless to say, Paul is less than impressed...

Two of our newer - and very popular- girls are Kami Robertson and Anna Gordon. We thought we'd dress them up as nurses in black stockings and heels, and then have some horrible bitch beat them up. Consensually, obviously.

It's such a chore working for Northern Spanking, really!

Well, that's it for just now.

But look! There's something not quite Reich about this uniform! Could it be?! It MUST be a genuine uniform - the wipe-clean elements of PVC were clearly favoured about 60 years ago. Was much easier to wipe all the blood off in the trenches and everything...

And look! See how I am walking... That's CLEARLY a goose-step. Oh yes... and I'm going UP THE STAIRS! You know what that means - 60-odd years ago they had STAIRS too.

Surely THE PUBLIC (and by "Public", we mean... yes... We know what they read, anyway) have a RIGHT TO KNOW about why I am hiding my little moustache and reveling in it?

Or maybe someone is just a little insecure because many years ago in class, when the teacher asked what people wanted to be when they grew up, and he replied "An Editor of a Highly-Respected Paper, Miss!", the teacher smiled and said "Well dear, that's lovely, but we think you're more suited to calling the bingo..."

What would I know, I'm just a model!

*removes tongue from cheek*

Crikey

2008-06-24T00:53:00.003+01:00

Busy Bee Amy!
I'm sorry not to update more just now, I'm all over the place in that funny thing called Real Life!

Last week I was down in London again, and was invited to attend a Peaches Party as both an errant schoolgirl in the afternoon (and oh boy, did I feel the error of my ways impacting upon my rear!) and then the Head Girl alongside Miss Parker, caner extraordinaire, for the evening's Fem Domme party.
We didn't hold back during the detention, and the boys who chose to avoid punishment by getting almost full marks in their tests didn't remain that way for long, as demerits could be handed out at our discretion, and for any misdemeanour we could find. Believe me, we were quite inventive!

I also purchased two beautiful new canes while I was down (after some roguish gentlemen managed to break my crook handled main cane across my backside. I think that's the definition of "a little too enthusiastic". Or, indeed, where my safeword would come in... !) so am looking forwards to breaking them in (and not "on"!) soon.
Traveling through London and back up to Glasgow with a couple of canes isn't the easiest of ventures though, especially when combined with other luggage. I'm looking forwards to moving down to London later this year, as I spend too much time living out of a suitcase just now!

Here, have a picture of my bottom after 60 beautifully accurate firm cane strokes, from the wonderful Mr T:

xx

Of all the people I have an utter lack of respect for...

2008-06-07T00:36:00.003+01:00

... one of the biggest offenders (apart from people who break anyone's trust, of course!) is the gutter journalist. You have those in the profession who travel out to war zones and report under sniper fire (or was that Hilary? I get confused...), and those who go out of their way to bring you a fair debate on some vital medical issue.

And then of course you have those whose qualifications essentially limit them to WRITING every other WORD in CAPITALS! It riles the masses, I believe.
This post is not about them. ;)

This post is about something that actually has a worthwhile meaning for once.

Quite recently I stumbled, as one can only do via the internet, across a blog I found all at once fascinating and compelling. It is written by - wait for it - a Journalist.

Adrian Sudbury is a young man whose writing affected me deeply for several reasons, most of which need not be heralded to the British Public at large. He isn't going to be around much longer, which, to be blunt, is shit. (It's very hard to convey this into words without sounding contrived or 'holier than thou', I do apologise.)

His message essentially boils down to this: the world needs more bone marrow donors.

He is currently leading a campaign to get the government to educate school leavers about registering to be a donor. Simple as that. Not pressurising or guilt-tripping them to sign up. Just telling them that it's an option (I certainly didn't know about it when I was leaving school.) and quashing the negative image that people get at the words "bone" and "donor".

It only requires a blood test to register. No boney involvement there!

The Anthony Nolan Trust is where the UK register of Bone Marrow donors is held, although as far as I'm aware people on the register can be used to try and find matches for any of the worldwide requirements for a bone marrow transplant. So my non-UK readers can just get in as well!

I think one of the multiple reasons I feel so strongly about this is because I am in more than one of the "definite exclusion" categories for donating both marrow and blood, and, as such, feel a tad useless.

Some years ago my life was saved with a blood transfusion (that sounds dreadfully sensationalist and attention seeking, but it's, you know, true.) and since then I have always been extraordinarily grateful and full of respect for the people who can, and do donate.
I also, at the same time, had to have actual bone marrow removed, which was done under GA, like a chosen donor would undergo. It was a wee bit sore afterwards, yeah. But so was nearly dying, you know? ;)

Yeah, it's needles. Zoinks!!!!
Holy crap, have you seen the amount of needles someone that sick has to put up with?

"All very well the masochist telling us it's fine!" I hear you cry! (figuratively) :)

I don't particularly like needles. When I was younger I used to fear blood tests like nothing on earth. I used to use EMLA cream to numb over the vein. Worked like a charm, and was always fun to poke the numb area afterwards, until I realised I was being a bit wet, and so much worse could happen than a bloody, er, blood test. (The queen of puns. Maybe my journo career is just beginning?)

Sooo... barr making a financial donation,and spreading the word, I can't make more of a practical, life changing difference.
You may well be able to.
And if you can't, then do the same as me. Or just sign the petition linked on Adrian's Blog.

Freaky One-Legged Nurse Amy says "Get off your behinds and make me proud!"

What splendid boots, madam, where did you find them?

2008-05-27T16:14:00.011+01:00

It's quite an odd feeling to open a splash page for a new site and see a woman wearing some awesome boots and taking a couple of seconds to think "Hang on - I've got a pair like that. The bitch! I've never seen anyone else wearing them!" and then realising that the bitch in question is actually yourself.

Ok, so perhaps it's not a feeling I'd expect that many of my readers to have, but I assure you, it's quite odd.:)

So seemingly Vixen Ladies have a new sister site to add to their family - Vixen Ladies HD - with the HD meaning High Definition, as opposed to Hot Derrieres, or Hurty Discipline. ;)

I've had a quick glance over the previews, and one of the vids features an excerpt from the virgin hand tawsing I told you about. I'm really quite nice about it, although don't be fooled by Mr L's smiling - you could probably lash him with a wire brush and he'd still grin afterwards! :)

Episode 405: In which Amy doesn't get spanked?!

2008-05-16T20:47:00.003+01:00

Once again I find myself traversing the country and utilising NXEC's splendid, if vastly temperamental, wi-fi.

"Ah! She has no excuse for not updating the blog if she has 5 hours!" You may say...

Not so.
Not only is the connection about as reliable as a rottweiler guarding a butchers, there's the problem of having highly unsuitable fellow passengers sat in viewing distance: (and in this I include minors and nuns, who appear to be reserved in seats next to me an awful lot) I quite like looking at things like Northern Spanking when people of a nervous disposition are nearby. Or people who are furrowing their brows and brushing down their stiff suits, casting the odd disapproving glance at the way the small blonde with a large cleavage has taken over half the table with her laptop, clearly not using it to merge the Davis Account, or finalise my breakfast meeting with Helen from Sears-Gibbons tomorrow morning.

Ho hum...

There's also the more problematic issue that wherever Amy goes, Chaos will follow. This is not a boast of my naughty brat skills, or a rebellious claim to show off. I am a small blonde Harbinger of Dooom. With three "o"s for emphasis.

From being caught up in Terrorist Attacks at airports, and emergency stops on trains, and buses complete with knifed drunks attempting to hijack. People actively avoid traveling with me because they know something will happen.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's as minor as opening a bottle of water and it exploding all over me and the surrounding seats, or hideous small children on the rampage, or just the joy of sharing a carriage with people who escaped the Common Sense gene distribution and start very British fights over seat reservations, like today.

Oh, or being locked in the toilet. Or, in fact, breaking the toilet (which has happened twice now) and the resulting alarm going off meaning that the guard has had to break in to rescue me.

Lucy says I should make a whole new blog about my traveling adventures. I could update it with establishments - or towns - I've been banned from (often along with, say, the Kane Kuties...), toilets I have broken and people I have clubbed to a messy death with their phone for having over-loud, entirely unnecessary conversations.

The Amy-mobile is also more than adept at wreaking havoc. Usually either in new and amusing repairs that it needs or because it's the wrong colour for a city very much involved in sectarian affairs. Last night I took a wrong turn and ended up in not only the very wrong area of town for someone with a rather unsubtle car, and landed bang in the middle of a full-on street party with tables and trees and houses all bedecked in blue and red ribbons in honour of the UEFA cup (I assume. Hell, maybe it always looks like that - I've never driven there before...)

In a bid to not look like a rampant football hooligan or a boy racer I've been trying to girlie-fy my banger, and Mr Hunter found the perfect sign for the back windows:

Of course, I think this is a little overblown for little old me, but I suppose people should be warned just in case I happen to be naughty in the future... ;)

"One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance;

2008-04-28T17:12:00.005+01:00

...it transcends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity."

There's just something about the eyes, I find.

The above pic of the quite ridiculously delectable Amelia-Jane Rutherford from Northern Spanking is one of several in the same set in which she just captures the vulnerable, pleading, fearful emotions that push certainly my buttons, if not most people's.
Ok, so aesthetically she's just about perfect, which helps... But so many of Northern's recent sets have captured some fabulous glances from different beautiful ladies:

Take Jadie, for example. There's a touch of fear, a hint of anger (she had just been walloped with a tawse, to be fair) and at the same time there's a sense of resignation; her punishment has been set, so she has to complete it.

Little Kami, however, has finished her punishment and has been placed in the corner with her hands on her head and newly red bottom on display. There's relief in her eyes alongside the humiliation. But there's also the nagging fear that it might not finish there and if her punisher interprets her glance a different way (and let's be honest: as my title quote says- a glance transcends speech - but that leaves the silence open to abuse freely depending what signals each different person picks up. You may well not agree with what I see in some of these pictures. But that's only natural.) they may well decide she shows impudence or disrespect, and suddenly haul her back out of the corner for more punishment.

The effortlessly beautiful Leia-Ann has more of an air of acquiescent submission about her picture. Quietly dignified, she silently acknowledges her misdemeanours and offers her exquisite behind to Nick for punishment to satisfy him, trusting that he will only punish her as much as is needed.

Similar, then, is my expression here, in terms of needing to please. There's more apprehension here though. More fear that I will fail the test set to me by my master, and that squirmy feeling of uncertainty when you can't see what is coming for being restrained and forced to look forwards. Never knowing when the next hit will come, or what it will be with. Hand? Strap? Flogger?
(I'm also completely oblivious to the fact that I have panda eyes, which is always a good sign that I've been very involved in the scene. Or possibly that my hands were tied to the cross, so I couldn't fix it. Something like that. :p)

Again with Sarah, as with Jadie, there is an element of defiance. Although Sarah's punishment has not yet commenced, so there is more apprehension about the hard caning about to be delivered, and the mask of not caring very much about her situation that she is putting up is slipping as her gaze meets the headteacher's.

There are, of course, plenty of other pictures I could pick out of the recent updates from Northern Spanking, and, obviously, updates from last month and earlier. But I'll leave you to pick those out. ;)

cough Trouble, was it?

2008-03-11T02:36:00.002Z

bring it on, Flynn.

xxxx

Where did February go?!

2008-03-06T23:37:00.003Z

Yikes!

Well... I have been busy since my last missive. Have done a shoot with some naughty, naughty boys for Vixen Ladies - women spanking men and have another one with them, as well as another couple of veeery exciting shoots with another couple of companies I've not yet worked for. Who? Ah, that would be telling just yet. You'll have to wait and see!

I received my first thigh caning recently - one word: "dearlordabovethathurtslikebuggery!". Only 6, but oh boy, did I feel them. This is not however an invitation to a "free-for-all" on my thighs, woe betide ye who pretend it is...

Have a picture, taken by my phone. Sadly I am now without my beloved Canon IXUS 800, as it got knocked out of my hand recently and killed the lens mechanism. Then Mr Hunter offered to tinker with it (yes, I know, I know...) and in the process of fixing the lens, managed to rip a tiny tiny connection deep in the camera. :(
So if you want website quality pics, you're either going to have to get them off Northern Spanking (albeit not any of my thighs being caned on there just yet) or send camera supplies to Hunter Towers. ;P

Next week I have another shoot with Vixen Ladies as well as the Cheeky Girls Party, so the business continues.

We have a hugely exciting shoot at NSI headquarters - the quite sickeningly beautiful, perfect Amelia-Jane Rutherford is joining myself, Niki Flynn and Leia-Ann Woods (really now, is that enough model for you all?!) this weekend, and there will be CAKE involved.
Although perhaps this time we won't be sticking people's heads in them.

If I don't overdose on sugar, I'll definitely manage to do it on the sheer beauty about the place. Bliss!

Spanking BBW Preview part Two!

2008-01-14T21:11:00.002Z

Well aren't you lucky?!
Here is part two of the introduction to Northern Spanking's bigger sister, Spanking BBW!

Rudeness! Tanya and Emma-Jay getting a little carried away after a sensual bubble bath spanking!

But back to the introductions - where was I? Ah yes, tantilising you with the splendid bottoms of big, curvy women!

Here is the fabulous bottom of Eve Elliot - a lifestyle submissive with a lovely full firm behind! She's just five foot tall - the same height as me!

Our saucy Spanking BBW Head Girl, Tanya, is treated to Eve OTK to be dealt with however she chooses - I can think of a few things I'd try.. :)

Yvonne York, according to her bio on the Models Page is nicknamed "Calamity", and here she is just about to have her hide tanned tremendously for turning her hubby's white shirt pink in the wash.
(I can relate to this rather too well, having done a similar thing with the posh bath towels only last week, except they're not so much pink as lilac-y dove grey. Much more interesting than white, surely? Hmmm. Yes, I know. I've been smacked for it, fret not.)

She then turns up in another set having come in drunk as the proverbial skunk, and gets a hard spanking to sober her up.

Tara Austin is the resident bit of posh - although in this pic she looks like she's taken rather a fall from grace!

Leia Fox - ah, dear Foxy! Leia has a simply cracking pair of... eyes! What? You pervs, like I'd be so uncouth as to tell you she has the best set of boobs in the world! ... You can surely see it for yourselves! :D

Foxy is a bundle of joy to work with, and has appeared on both Northern Spanking as well as being one of the sexiest girls on Spanking BBW, and she works the cheeky yet vulnerable yet wild sexpot thing very well indeed. She's all woman, that's for sure!

Another fabulous bottom belonging to a super-lovely lady is that belonging to Isabella Aubourg. Simply gorgeous waiting for her spanking here in silky undies. I tell you - the big limpid brown eyes on these two would soften even the hardest heart. Gorgeous!

Diaper position punishment for naughty nurse Izzy:

This Mediterranean beauty looks so vulnerable after being stripped for her beating - part of me feels bad, but when such a pretty shapely rear is on offer, my resolve can only last so long! :

And then, proving that you're never too young to fly the BBW flag, another fresh face from Northern Spanking, Katy-Rose James!
Despite being the youngest of our big girls, Katy still manages to get into enough trouble with Stephen Lewis (How that poor man's patience must be tried! All these ill-mannered girls, and only two hands to control them with!) when she spends rather too much of his money on rather too skimpy underwear.
Pouting and wriggling fails to get her out of a spanking and slippering, and Stephen is only too glad to redden her round rear!

So... that's an introduction to the wonder that is Spanking BBW - where you can spank those big round asses!

I'll hopefully add an update of recent highlights next month, rather like I do currently with Northern Spanking, as there were several positive comments about our big girls on the blog, and also via a few really quite enthusiastic emails! Keep them coming - I love feedback!

Spanking BBW Preview part One!

2008-01-10T23:02:00.001Z

As promised, a wee introduction to Northern Spanking's bigger sister, Spanking BBW!

Spanking BBW is the home of the big, the beautiful and the very, very naughty girls you've always wanted to spank. At the moment it consists of high quality picture stories, but videos are being prepared to go online soon as well!

These curvaceous cuties are headed by sexpot Tanya Thomson, who is the BBW Head Girl.

As well as being one of the naughtiest, she definitely competes as of one of the most sexual people I have ever met; this girl loves to be spanked, and always has a dirty twinkle in her eye!

Add all that to her gorgeous ample bottom and you have a perfect package to punish.

Most of the BBW models appear on both sites, although we do have a couple of buxom beauties who are exclusive to Spanking BBW, like the mega-curvy and equally cheeky Casey Konstantine:

Emma-Jay Joyce is a veteran of the spanking, fetish and BDSM scene, and certainly no stranger to appearing in Kane magazine.
On BBW her nickname is "Pinky", and she lives up to this naughty moniker very well indeed!

I am one of the BBW Dommes, which is, obviously, a terrible hardship. So many bottoms. So much of them. So little time. *sigh*

Of course, there are more girls, and more photo scenes, and more curves to see. But that will have to wait for now - part 2 of the Spanking BBW introduction comes next week, so patience will have to be a virtue until then!

xx

More Niki Flynn cake action:

2007-11-26T12:02:00.000Z

Find more videos on www.findinternettv.com.

This was requested by MysteryDave, who insisted I share the oddness with more people. Purists beware - there is no spanking in this 30 second anti-piracy film, although I am not wearing any pants, if that makes a difference.

Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbian spanking models...

2007-11-14T23:22:00.000Z

Er yes. Last night I got naked with Niki Flynn, molested her and then licked chocolate cake off her, before sharing a gooey chocolate snog.

Pic sneak preview courtesy of the wonder that is Billy of Monkeytwizzle/Northern Spanking fame.

Ah. Except that's blood. Whoops!

Anyway. Had a lot of fun, was in a lot of pictures, and obtained 25 x my RDA of sugar in the space of an hour. All good then!

In other news - shot with Sam Johnson for Sam's Diaries last week, and was treated to giving out a hard caning to a bad bad boy on film, which was very enjoyable, as well as being spanked and caned by the legendary Sam as a poor tennis doubles partner, and a lackadasical work experience girl at the office. Then we were both spanked, slippered, caned and birched in a final schoolgirl film.

Cor, I felt the last lot! Was fantastic!

x

Hey Mr Tambourine Man, spank that ass for me...

2007-11-04T16:28:00.000Z

Phew, the Kane Party was awesome. Great girls, great food, great company - great fun!
The theme was 'Back to the 60s" in honour of a certain someone's 40th birthday, and there were plenty of Quant-esque minis about. Not on the boys though, that would be a bit novel at Kane!

I'll do a full review once I can get my hands on a couple of pictures. (I thought I'd better update swiftly as a certain dear Welshman requested I updated more often!!)

I got some pictures of the foot fetish party in August though - don't worry, I won't subject you spanky people to pictures of my feet!

Leia-Ann Woods, myself and Miss Cameo. Yep, I'm floating. Oddness ahoy!

Rear view. Yep, you can see a couple of cane bruises. They'll have been from the CG party the day before I expect.

Side view, with Miss Cameo and Leia-Ann. Having much fun on our trample-rug! Look how pale I am! Must get the fake tan out pronto!

All from Stiletto Foot Parties - if that's piqued your interest!

In other news; this week I doing another shoot with the legendary Sam Johnson for her site Sam's Diaries which will be a whole lot of spanking fun!

Bye for now.

xx

But I'm a lady! I do not have le testiclé!

2007-10-30T22:47:00.002Z

Bonus points to my US readers for getting that quote...;P

Well I've been rather caught up in life recently, as it does sometimes have a habit of sneaking up on you. One of a few ailments has been a fluey/cold/sickness that is clearly a result of taking two 6 hour trains a week and several tube journeys inbetween. Well, that and also a result of relaxing for a couple of days on the vitamin B/C/D/Zinc megadosing. I'm also a great afficionado of Vicks First Defence (Do you get it over the pond?) which has been a lifesaver for me on several occasions in the last year or so, and wasn't being very vigilant in using it for a couple of days.

Cursed masses sharing their germs with me. I had my flu jag at the start of the month, however we all know it's hardly infalliable, so I never expected to stay healthy for long. It wasn't brilliantly timed though, and really messed up several important/significant events.

This current blog post is brought to you by the old faithful Vicodin and the letters Aaah and Chooo. ;)

Never mind. I was well enough to attend the Cheeky Girls Party and this time the theme was Ladette to Lady.

After some small confusion over different people's definition of "Ladette", we started a little late. Armed with rowdy tongues and genuine cans of White Cider(!) we were swiftly awarded several ASBOs for our conduct. (some of us received more than one. I chose to collect mine rather like my degrees) The 20 strong gentlemen in attendance more than made up for the tardiness of some naughty girls' appearances, with a sound OTK spanking - and even a brief over the shoulder spanking for some of us from a very enthusiastic chap!

Then onto the implements, in a vain bid to knock some sense into us. No chance!

Sascha clearly learning her lesson here - although What a lesson!:

Sascha, Jadie and Sharon being shown the error of their ways;

We then changed into more respectable dresses after a lovely lunch, for the dreaded cane, and as a finale played "Grab-a-Cane." Possibly similar in style to the "Grab-a-Grand" from that old 90's chestnut Noel's House Party except without the money and the phone-in.
It essentially involves all the canes lain across the centre tables, and, after a count of three, the gentleman who grabs a cane the quickest gets to give extra strokes to the girl on stage for that go. Wholesome fun, and much better than musical chairs, I feel.

And a final one of some of the newly reformed Ladies: Dublin, Kirstyn, Jadie, Donna, Ruby and Sugar. -

Thursday sees a very special birthday Kane Party, which promises to be awesome, with some of the top UK CP models attending; Sam Johnson, Leia-Ann Woods, Andi Switch and the splendidly fabulous Jadie Reece, as well as myself (hey, I said some of the top!) and several other hot totties!
Very much looking forwards to it, so I hope I feel a little better. As it is, I've delayed my trip down to London by two days. Bah!

Those of you who appreciate some of the slightly more... unusual... films we produce at Northern should hopefully really enjoy the special Hallowe'en update tomorrow. I got to sit in on the edit for this one, and so the opening and closing credits might be a work of art in their own right - enjoy it! :D

Driving Miss Amy

2007-10-14T15:05:00.000+01:00

I am learning to drive at the moment. Flee, all ye in Scotland who use the roads!

I, suprisingly, haven't actually destroyed the car yet, and quite incredibly, thanks to my astoundingly patient instructor, seem to be one of his faster students.

In every way.

Most often heard phrases in the Amy Car of Doom include: "Gently on the brake... Brake... Brake now." *Amy takes a corner on two wheels* "Right. That was rather faster than you'd normally take that corner, did you notice?"

or: "Watch your speed.... it's a 30 zone. You're speeding. Use the brake."

Luckily he's discovered the way to punish me for speeding - Double Mini Roundabouts. They result in Instant candy-floss brained Amy. I don't think I'd manage them at 10mph, let alone 34mph.

Don't even start me on reversing round a corner. I think maybe when I do my test I'll need someone in the back with a laquered hairbrush to deter me from messing it up. You are apparently allowed to have "a friend" in the back seat of the car for your test. However they are not allowed to interfere in any way. I think I'd find that about 100% more off-putting every time I glanced in the rear view mirror to see someone there.

In other news, I have slightly strained a few muscles in my arm from recently correcting a wayward boy. Part of the reason I really like to punish men is because they have thicker skin, (Literally and metaphorically) so I can beat them harder.
However once a tolerance is built up from regular punishment, as one does in all people who are regularly spanked, some males can get really quite hard to get through to.
I just see it as a challenge, of course, but oh boy - do I feel it the next day!

It's grim up North...

2007-10-13T14:12:00.001+01:00

Clearly!

I thought I'd share some of my favourite moments in sets and videos from the last week or so on Northern Spanking - and why not?

First up - the stupendous Sarah Collins makes a rare appearance in Sarah Gets her Slap On - caught playing about with make-up and hauled across El's knee for it.

In the finale of Sascha's Set-up the sadistic bitch lady of the house continues her attack on innocent maid Sascha - having already reddened her bottom with hand and paddle, Amy shows off her multi-tasking skills; getting Sascha to clear the mess up whilst being paddled over the table, and then a final humilation bent over dusting her mistress' boots.

We have a fabulous new girl who made her debut this week - Faith Andrews is a beautiful redhead with a cleavage you could get lost in and a curvy bottom that is begging to be spanked. So we did! Rude not to, really....

And finally - partially for my own pervery - a couple of pictures from the finale of Andi Switch's latest set, The Price of a Passport.
I think the photography and imagery in this set is fab. Look at that picture of the knickers still not pulled up. The rucked up dress. The cuffs. *drool*
Of course, it's also helped by having a stunning girl like Andi with her amazing legs and attention to body language detail. hell, if I looked like this in suspenders, I'd wear them every day. With not much else!

That's all for now. I have a busy week ahead, with a Cheeky Girls party and a dentist appointment amongst other things. Talk about "out of the frying pan...."

Meanwhile, back at the Northern Spanking Ranch...

2007-10-02T01:27:00.001+01:00

A few of my favourite highlights from recent updates on Northern Spanking:

The gorgeous and very lovely Pandora Blake in the skimpiest bikini ever - caught sunbathing instead of doing the housework. She gets made to hold a really harsh stress position whilst being spanked with a nasty little strap. And she still manages to do it with grace - kudos to that girl.

After Lance finishes beating the poor girl he sends her back indoors to finish her chores.

Meanwhile, I am being wholeheartedly evil towards the beautiful Sascha Harvey in "Sascha's Set-up" - she's just spent some time carefully cleaning the room as is her job, and her employer (who has a slightly suspect sadistic streak) goes to great lengths to undo all her hard work just so she can punish Sascha's delightful bottom. Sick, really. Shouldn't be allowed. Goodness knows I didn't enjoy it, oh no... ;)

And last for now - because it's seriously far too late to be up - the ever-spiffy Niki Flynn (Whose book is being released on Thursday, UK folks!) playing a tarot card reader. James Walker is entirely unimpressed with his prediction of death, and promptly cold canes her. I've often thought I'd like to do that to people who write horoscopes...

Unexpected spanking

2007-09-16T19:47:00.000+01:00

I meant to post this a while back, but completely forgot. Cue Spankings..

On a day trip out this summer (what there was of it), other half and I decided to go around a maze. When we got there, we were told that we were the last people to go in, and that if we got into any bother, we were to raise the flag we were given - a handy cane with a scrap of high vis cloth attached to the top - above the wall levels and wait for help.

Well. Clearly when handed a weapon of ass destruction (my god, I should do corner time just for coming out with that) I was only going to get into bother after about ten minutes of being lost...

Obviously, by "summer" I mean "rainy wet drizzle requiring multiple layers of clothing." But I still took down the jeans that kept me from pending hypothermia, because my bottom is used to being bared in such temperatures:

After all - I've shot stuff for Northern Spanking in sub zero temperatures - behold the whiteness of this picture (by the fantabulous Billy ):

And look at that view! Snow-topped Mountains galore, again courtesy of Billy:

That picture is a little bit like "Where's (w)Amy?", but you don't want to see my ugly mug when you have a vista like that. Come on now!

I'd quite like to do nice snowy scene where the hot bottom resulting from whatever punishment is sent to cool off in the snow afterwards. I don't suppose for a second it's not already been done, but it'd still be an interesting sensation!

No Laughing Matter

2007-08-21T08:09:00.000+01:00

Last night whilst chatting with Lucy and Paul, one of the (several) topics of heated debate was the challenge to name a single movie I've made recently as a sub that hasn't had some comedic element, a line that made someone in the room smirk or just descended into out-and-out comedy.
We barely managed 3...

Most of the ones I protested as being perfectly serious were ones where I dommed (with a few exceptions - like the current set on NS "Mistress Idol":)

This is clearly Not Good. Unless, of course, there is an Erotic Oscar category for best pr0n comedy, in which case I (and my sparring partner Stephen Lewis) had probably better start dusting the trophy cabinet out... If you think "Eggs" (below) was bad, just you wait...

Even in films that should have been vaguely serious - all of a sudden, my brain and mouth leap into a different plane and we have deadpan lines that corpse the cast and crew. Add Stephen (who is a cracking video partner - no pun intended at all in relation to the infamous video above ) and behold - doom!

I suppose this is really slightly bratty behaviour - perhaps I need a few more doses of the below sneak preview from a film where the only straight (faced) lines delivered were to my rear. They are quite pretty though. I'm thinking of having some more quite soon. ;)

London-bound...

2007-08-17T20:51:00.000+01:00

Well, not literally! There's kinky and there's too kinky.

But seriously. Next week I am going to be treated to a veritable spanking cornucopia on my jaunt to the big smoke. Not least the Cheeky Girls party - hope they're ready for a tartan terror!

This trip heralds the new(ish) Frequent Flyer Amy - having only been able to visit London 2 or 3 times a year for the last couple of years, I'm pretty much down every month for the rest of the year. Which means more spanking, more potential naughtiness, and most importantly - the chance to see my "scene" friends more often. (I'm usually loathe to use that word, as it has odd cliquey connotations - like we have no life but being spankees, and must mention it at least once a day, else we may be proved frauds...)

Last time I saw The Girls was for Bums on the Run, and there was the bizarre stress of traversing London at 8am, on a roasting hot day, coupled with the pressure to scrub up reasonably well so that the awesome gents who had come to cheer us on weren't going to be too horrified at what we really look like straight out of bed with no make-up or hair done.
Sad, I know. But appearances must be kept up. Besides - by the half-way point, we'd pretty much melted anyway, and at the finish line I probably looked like someone's worst nightmare. But we did it.

Clearly, Amy sees a camera and is magnetised towards it by her rear... I'm proper pale, I know. But someone needs to keep up the goff side!

Anyway. This post is a bit pointless. It was really to say how much the selfless, generous actions of these friends/collegues of mine mean to me - the odd occasion when one comes across behaviour totally conflicting of these traits really hammers home how lucky you are with your lot.

And now, because I'm clearly being a big poof, and uncharacteristically serious, have some puerile nonsense!

2007-08-15T09:55:00.000+01:00

Shooting in the frozen North!

Ta-da

2007-08-15T00:37:00.001+01:00

After lurking for ages and replying on everyone's blog anonymously, I am now real. ish.

Probably won't be making that many updates, but I'll do something tomorrow.

xx